Flaming June's Love

We had a tornado warning today.  Allie Nana and I were floating in the pool at Nanas apartment when we heard thunder.   So as directed we immediately left and headed back to Moms place.  Allie looked through the paper for apts, while nana and I admired her.  We chuckled and then ALlie left to head to work.  5 minutes later we read about the warning.  Nana and I packed up her stuff and headed back to my house.  (we have a basement.)  Jack was s till at CYC camp not expected home until 3.  His TSS was bringing him home and he was safe tucked in tight at the cyc basement.  Missi called to check on us as we scurried around shutting windows and waiting for funnel clouds.  The storm passed with no more than a few drops of rain.  Our sweet boy came home from camp.  Then Nana and Jack played a few games of checkers while I made MEATLOAF. My hubbie came home, Missi came home and then left just as quick to get her hair done...

This has been the summer of the "mountain".  The mountain refers to the cottage of my childhood.  The house where Mom and Dad, boys and I used to go EVERY summer to spend time with our grandparents and just BE. What did we do there?  Well, I remember making mudpies on the lazy susan in the backyard.  Sitting on the mossy rocks and pulling the long leaves from fern.  I ate fruit with my Aunt Betty on her couch and talked about what she was cooking.  I swam in the lake, wearing muddy sneakers ankle deep in muck.  I watched leaves blow, turn, shimmer and dapple sunlight on the darkest green grass.  I would lie on the hammock waiting for my grandfather to come home from work, then watch him take his nap on the hammock slung between two trees.  My Mom would always be awake and beautiful in the morning.  Sitting at the kitchen counter sipping coffee, singing along to her radio.  Our Dad worked in NJ the entire summer while we vacatione...

Andy and I went to a wedding yesterday.  It was very lovely.  The bride and groom, young and in love.  I was excited to go because I got a new dress that just felt really nice on.  I felt pretty and was excited. I love weddings because I love the music, everyone usually in great moods, free flowing drinks.  Just a good time. I like church weddings.  There is something to be said about "I solemnly swear in front of God and family.." This young couple exchanged their vows in front of family, though were married by a judge.  All the same.  Their vows were from the heart and truly very sweet. The promises made to one another are very touching and I for one Hear them, yet don't actually listen to them. When you marry you promise to Love, honor and cherish sickness and health good times and bad. richer and poorer ALL the days of my life. Promise to be true to them keep only unto them. How sweet... How monumentally huge. A promise in fron...

So heres the story. I was really really scared. I don't want to leave any of you. I am so deeply in love with the characters in my life I am not ready to leave. And now my heart is now in good shape.  The same shape it was in when I left the OP seven almost years ago.  I have a totally blocked Right coronary artery but ancillary vessels ahve taken up the work.  My grafts are still patent.  great news.  I have to lose fifty pounds and exercise everyday.  I can do that if I can recall how scary it is to think you are going o die within the next few minutes. Walk... and walk quickly ... or die. hmmm. I believe I need to walk, maybe even run for the next few days, weeks, years. So now what to do? The last time I had the shit scared out of me I was jsut so glad to go home and be with my newborn baby and teen age girls. I am still that thrilled believe me.  I couldn't wait to get into my bed and have my girls and boy come visit me.  Except now...

I have been on the planet alive and kicking about 6 3/4 years longer than expected.  I have done some really amazing things in those seven years and have loved so many people everyday of those seven years.  Fridays procedure should be uneventful and I anticipate being home by Sunday.  In the case that it is not uneventful here are a few things I have to say. 1.  All the times I sat with my friends family loved ones and ate or drank something not on a heart healthy diet list, I dont regret a single minute or bite of them.  If we had laughs and good conversation then I am grateful.  Dont ever feel like you should have stopped me or something because that would have ruined our "moments" together.  I cherish every one of them.  Ice cream, burgers on the grill, alcoholic beverages, coffees, all of them I loved. 2.  I realize I have had my down days over the past seven years.  Those were days like everyone else has.  That my friends wa...

Did you ever get the feeling that you were on the edge of something totally new?  I am, for sure. Been visiting U Penn Hospital.  They are top 5 in the country.  So since I really want to live, We decided to make an appt.  The first appt went really well with the Dr.  Nice guy, not terribly over concerned super smart.  Second appt stress tests and vascular studies yesterday.  I felt good last night.  Now  since the Dr called this morning at 830, I am feeling just tired. I have to go back to Philadelphia for a catheterization next Friday.  I knew this was coming.  I know it is the one way to actually SEE what is going on with the grafted vessels, and what may be happening with any vessels that weren't grafted.  This is a good thing.  right?  I am confident that the Dr. I am seeing is one of the best in the country.  He will guide us to the best recovery and therapy possible. I just don't like the reminder of m...

Amazing things have happened at my house these past few days. first of all the last post concerning Jack and his ISM's, well they are what they are and he is doing so exceptionally well lately.  Took him to his cousins birthday party last weekend and he had a great time.  He chatted with some people and really had fun. His tball is going very very well.  He is having fun and following directions.  Good Job Jackie BOY! He was visiting his friend Michael up the street the other day after school.  He had had such an awesome day that I told him he was ready for a big boy reward at the end of his play date.  He was allowed to walk home "alone" from Michael's house-just like big boys do. Remind you that Michael lives three doors up the street and both his mother and I watched Jack walk the three doorbells to reach ours.  He marched down river street smiling a huge smile, carrying his ds bag under his arm.  I maintained eye contact with him the entir...