where i would be.
Im not feeling it tonight. Not even a little. I am feeling like a failure, I feel disconnected from my choices and flailing at the last second treading water. I came to the realization that I feel bound by the overwhelming idea, "what difference does it make I am going to die soon anyway." I am not asking anyone to respond or worry, I feel fine. Physically I am doing fine. Emotionally I feel over. I have been using the decision making tool that "Does it affect me now?, No, then I dont care." I am living in one sense by the minute, but in another way I am not making any decisions or choices today for the long run. I dont have retirement-I dont need it. I dont worry too much about my marriage, just get through today, he can meet someone else when I am gone. I am not looking for a different job because, what else is there other than a paycheck? I follow a blog that the writer is always brainstorming new jobs, adventures, relationship possibilities,. I realize I dont do...