Flaming June's Love

Here we are two years later. I dont recall this moment that clearly but I do know that everything hurt EXCEPT my heart. I was so deeply in love with this boy in my arms at the time that all the STUFF going in and out of me was secondary. I can now look in the mirror and see the scar down my chest and in my neck and arms and leg and remember, but the newborn three days old is tangible. He is the running whirling durvish with the smile that glows from the inside out. I do know that this is a photo of the first time I saw him after the whole "thing". I believe this is a bout three days after the actual surgery. I was still in the ICU and just up in the chair for the first time. I can look at this picture and remember.... but I can also forget. I really want to take care of myself. I dont want to go through this again anytime soon. My boy really needs me. As do my girls. They need me, but I mus admit. I dont want to leave my Andy. I feel like he is my reward sometimes ...

This painting has always "spoken:" to me. And I am not trying to sound like something Im not by using that adjective. It says volumes. Her face, his face, her dress, the background. I see her as a young girl with no idea how beautiful she is and he is a man dreaming of his youth. Her dress is moving and swirling swooshing the leaves along their way. The people in the background pretending not to notice this beautiful girl. It is a cool 65 ish today and not getting much warmer. A breeze blowing that is so fresh and I love everything about it. All the windows are open and I am feeling some better today. I am coughing up some of the grossest stuff on the planet but its all good. We are planning on going to get some things for the house today. Paint and some extras .