Flaming June's Love

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” ― Albert Camus Your darkest hours, saddest times, closed eyes cant get out of bed? We can conjure the sun on our face, the warm wind in our hair and the smell of hot dirt roads.  Maybe that will help?  I can see the bottom of the pool through foggy eyes stinging with chlorine, chest tight with the depth of the water, legs and arms pulling at the water to touch the bottom... only to scrape it with the tip of your finger and look up, up up up to the surface sun and blue shrouded by the waves of the surface.  pop on through to the deep breath. I need the deep breath.. I want to close my eyes to the brightness and listen tot he sounds of summer. An invincible summer. I

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” ― Ernest Hemingway It doesnt happen often,but when it does, it is heavy. When I get down, I can go way way down. 1000 pounds down. Just when you start to think you have it all together, someone changes the rules. That someone can be an actual person, or GOD, or the kosmos. Somehow I find myself , again, doubting it all. Mothering, friendships, marriage. Everything. I want to "bleed" all over this page tonight, but cant. Tired of the "it will get better, dont worry about me."