Oldies but goodies.
My newborn son with his exhausted daddy. Beautiful light on Allie, I swore it was my Dad watching over her. Missi with the smile and face of an angel. Me after surgery admiring my miracle boy through brand new eyes. My boy with shaving cream on his face with the world in his eyes. I was browsing my blog for the year following my Dads death because we are quickly approaching another anniversary. i am forgetting alot. I sometimes want to feel that pain again so it doesnt feel so long ago. I feel like I need to be punished for letting him go. I still wonder "How did this happen??????" I wonder if the bad things that happen now are my punishment for screwing up Dads post surgical care. Not paying attention. Was I sleeping? Where was my head? Why cant I go back and change things? Just one minute? Anyway. You will have to bear with me the next few weeks as I torture myself again. maybe someday I can let it go, but, not this year. PS My son still doesnt have a grandfather...