Greys anatomy flashback....
Well- I remember wathcing Greys anatomy at the end of last season and crying. I cried for the lost love between Izzy and Denny. But more than that I cried for myself. A year ago I suffered massive heart attack and barely survived emergency heart surgery. My body has been recovering but my spirit has not. I want to live but dont go desperately outof my way to accomplish a long and healthy life. I dont smoke, but also dont exercise. I dont eat right and have gained a more than a few pounds in the past year. Depression maybe a little. Hopelessness, maybe a little. but I truly think I am just getting by. I know that when I die It will be an ok thing. I am not afraid to die actually look forward to the day with optimism and interest. I am not suicidal but really in a mood where if it happened tomorrow other than my kids being motherless and husband being a widow and alot of sad people, selfishly.... I would be ok with the whole thing. If you read any of my other posts you know ...