Today, tomorrow, and everyday after.
Today. I was thinking about my Dad. I can go back 3 years and try to recall the dirty, heartwrenching details of where and what was going on. I think about it and I still get that turn in my stomach, with the heat behind my eyes, that is fair warning from my psyche that I am about to weep. To weep means to me that my broken heart is reminding me it is still there and although my life goes on it is NOT the same, and is NOT right without him. I can see him so vividly-so clearly in his normal healthy state. I had the feeling this morning that I was going to see him. Drive by the old house Suzie, he will be on the porch. I did get into my car and drive the short 5 miles-excuse being coffee from DD- He wasnt there. Why do I do that? Why do I continue to ask for reminders of our loss? Why do I want to cry when his spot is empty on the porch? Why do I turn my feelings over and over in my heart only to conjure a 30 second crying fit, every time? If I look back on my posts from the 1 yea...