Flaming June's Love

hold on to me.. Hold to me sweet child Hold to momma's skirt. stay under my shelter dont leave my guard Im too scared to open the gate. As I see your dreams behind your eyes You want to reach to further skies, "you belong to me, along my side, You cant go I will decide." I cant decide, I must subside, Let her fly, let her fly. Be gentle world, To my sweet girl, My sweet girl, my sweet girl. Give her vision of her place in life, Give her courage to survive her strife, Give her patience to achieve her goals, Give me courage to let her go to let her go to let her go

Stole the virginity thing for my friend T. I thought it was funny. Our beloved cat Pippa returned home. I am happy for that. The two cats that she left behind are not happy she is home. They are pissing everywhere in a urine fueled standoff. "get rid of the hussy cat that left us or we piss on the laundry AGAIN!" I am contemplating opening the doors "BY ACCIDENT" and letting the F'ing pissers out. Just sayin' If I were so inclined. Why did I ever agree tot he cat thing anyway. I hate cats. They suck. And piss. Did I tell you Jack is signed up and all set to attend Pre-K? Yup its official he will be starting sept 7th. 7:50 in the am. at 7:51 I will be sitting in my care either crying tears of Joy and Liberation... Or tears of.... Joy and Liberation!!! I am slightly looking forward to going into the bathroom without the reminiscent "HEY MAAAA are you doing a POOOOOOP or a PEEEEEE!?" MAAAAA! Or my all time favorite.. Me "JAck watcha doing?...

Andy and I are lying here on the bed talking about getting to sleep. We moved our bedroom around in the spring and if you havent been here this is what we did. Since we have an atrium in the bedroom we have a five large window end to the room. Very victorian in design, very very light filled in the am. The tops of our heads are facing almost perfectly East. If I open my eyes at the right time int he am I can see the sun rise. (If I roll over and look out the window which is eyelevel.) That said, we now have been sleeping with the windows open every night, which is heavenly for me. Adoring the night sounds, crickets, birds of every sound, cats having rages in the neighbors yard. We have very few cars at night since the end of our road is the END OF THE ROAD. I have not put curtains on these windows because NOTHING WORKS FOR ME. So we are left with a few thoughts tonight. 1. Drivers on the Crossvalley if they so desire can look into our windows and see us. (If they have vision th...

I posted a few songs that are important to me concerning my Missi girl. To show you how quick the time has gone since my Missi came into this world. The song Tears in heaven came out the week she was born. I remember she was sick when she was born and was transported to CMC from East Stroudsburg for the nearest NICU. I had to remain in PMC since I was spiking a temp following the c section. I only saw her for a moment and touched her little hand through the incubator glass. Tim followed behind the ambulance, and my Dad met her in Scranton. My Mom remained at our home with Allie who was barely two. I remember calling the nicu and asking the nurses how she was. "She is a fighter and should be off the ventilator before too long." "She is itty bitty but a tough little thing" She stayed there for a 8 days and then we brought her home. She weighed 5 pounds that day. As much as a sack of sugar. I think of that when I buy sugar to this day. I remember being in the ...

Corinthians 13:12 Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. I have so many memories, I believe them memories anyway, from this date fie years ago. Even if they are just imaginations of a drug induced coma and/or mind farts of desperation, I need to go with it. I recall a "knowing". I recall a waking period of time when the ways of the world and reasons for things happening seemed so clear. I had the idea that "Oh that makes sense." "Hmm why didnt I think of that." The visions or experience I had of people that had died visiting me, seemed so real. I recall a sensation of SMELLING my Pop. BEING at the cottage. FEELING safe, LOVED, cared for. It wasn't until I was close to waking that I recall pain (physical pain) worry, and fear. Of course doubters can say drugs...

I remember about ten years ago telling someone that I felt like I was in a minefield and everyone else I knew was stepping on mines, besides me. My friends father had died, someone had breast cancer, siblings were in serious car accidents, babies born with defects. These things never affected me or my family. But always felting pending doom, or a "knowing" that my time would come to grieve, panic, cry. It was during that time in my life that I made things harder for myself. I asked for drama, looked for it actually. I was "bored" and needed to "feel" something. So I tiptoed through places I shouldn't have been, and did a few things that I am not proud of. That said. I am who I am because of these experiences. I took a quiet predictable life and ground as a pepper grinder and turned it into "something else". I never anticipated life making MY LIFE the experience it has been since those days. I was a semi spoiled, overly confident, infant....