8/18/2010

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Corinthians 13:12
Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

I have so many memories, I believe them memories anyway, from this date fie years ago.

Even if they are just imaginations of a drug induced coma and/or mind farts of desperation, I need to go with it.
I recall a "knowing".
I recall a waking period of time when the ways of the world and reasons for things happening seemed so clear.
I had the idea that "Oh that makes sense."
"Hmm why didnt I think of that."
The visions or experience I had of people that had died visiting me, seemed so real.
I recall a sensation of SMELLING my Pop. BEING at the cottage. FEELING safe, LOVED, cared for.
It wasn't until I was close to waking that I recall pain (physical pain) worry, and fear.
Of course doubters can say drugs, endorphins kicked in to help me through a physically tough time.
I believe we were all safe..
What am I getting at?
I know this to be true. I know that there is enlightenment at the end. There is reunion and peace.
I recall not feeling URGENCY to return to my life.
I felt a comfort in LETTING GO, LETTING GO of LIFE. I chose to live, and THEN I embraced the fight to live.
It was a year later that we watched our Dad-let go.
But he fought hard. Real hard.
He had PEACE, and there was some (some) comfort in watching him go. The process I will never ever forget, as painful, wrenching,. Beyond imaginations.
But the smack of our humanity leaving our body is nothing compared to the enveloping of peace and comfort.
I believe this to be true.
For this I am grateful.
I look forward to our meeting someday SOMEWHERE ELSE.
We will be enlightened, aware and thoughtful.
With a smattering of humor, reminisce, and humility.
So as I enter year six with heart in hand, (No pun intended) I offer my word filled mind and love filled heart (most of the time) to you my friends and family as another year of trying harder, loving harder, thinking longer, speaking less.

Eating less, walking more.
Love you.

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