Flaming June's Love

I am good thank you. My boy was an angel today. He was smart and beautiful and I so want to share him with everyone. I have put his app in for montessori school for the fall. I think he will blossom. Missi is counting the days til the end of school. I dont blame her. Allie is doing fine and working hard everyday. Out in the evenings but what else do 18 yr olds do? Andy is away on business and home tomorrow for the weekend. I am just kinda the door holder I feel sometimes. I greet and listen and uhhuh everyone and add my two cents when I feel necessary but I dont feel as though I share too much of my own stuff. I am sure they would listen but does it all really matter? I have classrooms full of students. They are adult learners coming back to school for a career and I am their leader to say. I teach them stuff they thought they could never learn. I am the class they look forward to because I "encourage them and make then feel as thought hey can do it." I dont think the...

Cant explain it, it doesnt mean anything. I so wanted to call my ex today. I needed that almighty validation again. Yeah I so in love with that word lately. Needy? Maybe but I sometimes need that somebody that was there, wherever i am traveling back to I need to reminisce with someone... else. Today was the Memorail days of my past. Memorial weekends of allnighters with lots of beer and laughing til you pee your pants. Family that drives you crazy but you would kill for without a second thought. Most of all nights beside a fire so hot and beautiful, mesmerizing dancing and safe. Music that everyone knew the words too. Stories of out past that seemed unreal. Memories of my grandparents. My Aunts and uncles. My brothers as teens, twenties, thirties. Us as kids, our kids as kids. My mom and dad sitting at the fire holding hands chatting between themselves. Laughing out loud. Crossing the street to check on sleeping babies, or sneak a quickie maybe. Lots and lots of beer. lots and...

I am feeling good. Physically and emotionally I feel strong. I rode my bike today about three miles with Jack on the back. I really need a pic of that so you can appreciate the scene of the two of us riding that bike. It was a truly spectacular day and clear blue skies with a beautiful breeze blowing. Cool fresh air and we went along the river and how the scene has changed since we began our walks. As you stand up on the dike now the whole valley surrounds you with green trees and blue skies and sparkling river. The dike project now finished is amazing to walk or bike. I was riding and all I could think was how beautiful the whole scene was. Kids playing soccer on one side of me the river on another. A small biplane flying round over head since there is a small private airport in our town, people take lessons and fly about the river and admire the scene. People say hi to you talk to Jack and really a nice place to be. Our house today looks beautiful. Andy has been working h...

If you dont know the stiry il;l make it quick and hopefully painless. Heartattack and a Dr that literally walked in on it and saved my life by thinking fast and having excellent timing. I remember gong into congestive heart failure and respiratory failure and grabbing him by his tie and telling him "I cant breathe, dont let me die." He said, "Im really trying." I also rememember being intubated while awake(I dont suggest that AT ALL) and he was standing behind a glasss window in the Cath lab and he had his hands in his hair and staring at me. I remember catching his eye and thinking this guy has to help me. Dr. G is about 6 feet tall, daerk salt and pepper hair about thre years alder than me and so down to earth and normal its unbeleievable. He is very much like my brother Dan. Cautious, watchful but sharp. To try to convey how I feel about this guy think about someone.... hmmm... I have no desire to sleep with the guy, (Which for those who know me is quite A...

I wasnt feelin that qell yesterday so plopped on the bed and hit some cahnnels on the tube that I never get to. I found the Glenn Miller story. Yeah a classic and so much a family thing. I learned to dance from my Dad. He taught me our living room in NJ. It was a ten minute lesson on the basics, the only thing was that I never neede to know how to dance unless I was with him. We could dance I must say. He was an excellent lead and Icould follow him through any music and any song. Spins dips, jitterbugs, swing and we always always had a great time. In the mood was a classic for us. swing was a good one for us. He sparkled and lead me around any foor and I havent had that ever since nor will I ever. Its ok though some things are meant to be just US. ps There were mornings I was woken up with this music playing and Dad singing his heart out to us. Cant ever forget that.

Yeah well the title says almost all of it doesnt it. LOL Allie had the pukers yesterday, Missi the night before ANdy has the crappers today and I just feel like Im gonna explode! Dont know if Im gonna puke or the other but I am really bloated. Things are relatively good here. All is quiet in the world and I am feeling good. Andy and I will be married THREE Years on Thursday. Yup its true. It went really fast and we have done so much in those few years. I do beleive we should just skip to ten years since we have hit so many milestones in such a short time.! I am attaching our wedding song from youtube and a pic from our wedding day if I can find one on this computer. He doesnt read this much so when you do Babe know that even when I am doubting everything and afraid I always LOVE you. You can make me laugh at the best and worst t imes and there isnt a day that goes by that I dont think how handsome you are.

i have been scared all day. i know he is out of danger but my heart is scared, I have been aware of the thin cord that attaches us to this life I have watched patients leave this world and go to another. I have been with friends as they pass through what the undefined mist is. I felt my father leave his body as he looked me straight in the eye as I smiled at him and told him we would be alright. The potential of losing a child of ours is too monstrous to hold close to myself for too long because it becomes almost real. The images, the despair, the loss is stirring of reality. I swat the images away like flies, only to have them buzz about my head when I am least expecting. I have no control over the kosmic reasoning in life and loss. I do know how fragile it all is. Life and death are both balancing on a pinpoint and the least offensive of winds can send the whole thing down. THANK YOU FOR SAVING HIM. THANK YOU FOR SAVING ALL OF US,

http://news10now.com/Video/video_pop.aspx?vids=71495&sid=1079&rid=1013

javascript:show_story('116121') I havent gotten any calls in my life so far that concern my kids and take my breath away-- in a bad way. Today i got one about my nephew that took my breath away and I cried for a good hour afterwards. It seems my nephew Danny and his buddy were on *! in NY state going for their tuxes for the prom this weekend. The driver avoided another car and overcorrected and went over a guardrail and flipped the suv they were in. My nephew was knocked trapped for a few moments in the car and then crawled out from the back seat out into the grass where he was found unconscious. He was taken to the hospital and treated for a concussion and scratches on his knuckles and forearms. The scratches they believe from his trying to get out of the car while suspended from his seatbelt. My sisterinlaw called and I just fell apart. I always feared one of those calls but this was scary, it seemed forever to hear her say he was alright. My already fuc%^^#$ heart w...

I had a nice day. The girls got apicture of all three of them together and that is good. I so love these kids and if I have a day to spend with anyone it would be these people in my life. I am attaching a few of Jack and his room with the trains and a bath pic but the posed ones are from my thoughtful Mothers day gift. I also got a gift certificate to the local nursery for a tree for our yard from ANdy. That was really a thought out gift and I am so excted to find the perfect "baby" for our yard.

Do you ever wonder if the things that cross YOUR mind are anything close to what OTHER people think about? I have memories of hearing voices mumbling when it was really quiet as a child. I remember thinking I had bugs in my ears because I could hear them marching. I was sure there were people that never made it to earth and were counting on me to think about everything in my day so they could live them with me. I remember telling myself not to think about certain "bad" things too long because SOMEONE would know. I recall feeling that my family really didnt like me but tolerated me until I went to bed and then they would all laugh at me. I would never look at someone I thought was ugly or dumb because I was afraid I would find myself to be in worse shape than they were. What makes these revelations or admissions ever more... unnerving is that I know I am not crazy, I am just being honest. I am far from excellent. I am a stones throw away from alright. I have abilities to be ...

I will ever be awed by my brothers ability to make me laugh. How can someone not laugh at this. I love him more than Ive ever told him, He knows. This lil clip is from the girls out for dinner with Davey and his funny dance in the parking lot. He is this guy.

Some pics from Florida. After chatting with my big brother tonight he let me know how much he enjoys the blog and especially the pictures. I have no problem posting more since truly I have hundreds. Missi doesnt know how beautiful she is and The kids together dont realize that they are our hope and pride and future rolled into seven totally different people. Allie the oldest is the heir apparent in the kid kingdom. She has leadership skills if only leading the gang tot he game room or for a walk somewhere. Danny the oldest grandson is a strong silent and courageous young man. My brother Dan has led him in a direction to be all that he could be and be honorable. When my brother should be reveling in his sons bravery and manhood, he is sadly living out his second childhood I am afraid. Danny Jr is the man of the house and is taking care of his mom and Ben. Whether people want to accept it or not life is hard without the Dad around and I can just imagine young Dannys anger and di...

Funny we were talking bout the whole summer song thing and her first answer was these guys. I played it ain came Missi and we sang all the words as if it were yesterday. I asked them both what it reminded them of and they said. You Mom. Just you and us going in the black car singing our hearts out going out the mountain to see nana and Pop. Well then I did ok. Missi then added, Mom I only have good things to remember. Why do you worry so much.? (Umm well I divorced your dad was piss broke, had few friends and felt like a total failure.?) "I dont know Miss I guess we did ok then huh?" "Yeah I wouldnt do things any different" We will be ok. No matter what we do.

My rosy cheeked boy. He woke up last night at 11. Yeah we all know that is not good when a child wakes only two hours after they went to bed.. so yeah, Picture this. MAMA MAMA\ Boo booo ears. booooo booooo eeeeeeyarrrs!!!! I take a peak and yup his right ear is all red on the inner portion that I can peak at. So gave him some motrin and big sister allie had a paper to write and knowing she would be up all night anyway took him to her room. He slept til three and woke up again. (this time mama was replaced with YAYA(allie)) BOOH BOOOHHH EEEEYARRRRSS OWWWWWWW. She snggled him up and he slept til 6ish. Went to the doc and his tube is blocked with ane ar infection. Antibiotics and drops and back tothe EENT in two weeks. Gotta say though its been 10 months without an ear infection so I am not complaining. I am attaching his pic from this morning you can see his red cheeks and a little dull looking. Love him ore than ever. My Missi is going to the prom this saturday night. So excitni...