still thinking....

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i have been scared all day.
i know he is out of danger but my heart is scared,
I have been aware of the thin cord that attaches us to this life I have watched patients leave this world and go to another. I have been with friends as they pass through what the undefined mist is. I felt my father leave his body as he looked me straight in the eye as I smiled at him and told him we would be alright.
The potential of losing a child of ours is too monstrous to hold close to myself for too long because it becomes almost real. The images, the despair, the loss is stirring of reality. I swat the images away like flies, only to have them buzz about my head when I am least expecting.
I have no control over the kosmic reasoning in life and loss. I do know how fragile it all is. Life and death are both balancing on a pinpoint and the least offensive of winds can send the whole thing down.
THANK YOU FOR SAVING HIM. THANK YOU FOR SAVING ALL OF US,

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