Can you really "Owe someone your LIFE?"

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If you dont know the stiry il;l make it quick and hopefully painless. Heartattack and a Dr that literally walked in on it and saved my life by thinking fast and having excellent timing. I remember gong into congestive heart failure and respiratory failure and grabbing him by his tie and telling him "I cant breathe, dont let me die." He said, "Im really trying." I also rememember being intubated while awake(I dont suggest that AT ALL) and he was standing behind a glasss window in the Cath lab and he had his hands in his hair and staring at me. I remember catching his eye and thinking this guy has to help me.
Dr. G is about 6 feet tall, daerk salt and pepper hair about thre years alder than me and so down to earth and normal its unbeleievable. He is very much like my brother Dan. Cautious, watchful but sharp.
To try to convey how I feel about this guy think about someone.... hmmm... I have no desire to sleep with the guy, (Which for those who know me is quite A MIRACLE IN ITSELF LOL) But I do want to be around him and anticipate my visits with him, He makes me feel better. He validates me. That is it! He validates my fears, he knows, he saw the whole thing, He was next to me as I quickly fell apart. After we left Andy in the hallway it was Dr. G and a few Cardiac Cath techs and nurses and resp therapy but I didnt feel that they were real they were a whirl around me. He was a constant. I woke up and I heard his voice. I saw his face and thought "OK I am going to be ok, I think ,... IF HE SAYS SO."
Thursday I went to Allentown for the results of my long awaited stress test and nuclear studies. The attempt is to identify how much heart damage there is and how much % is good.
Six months after the surgery I was at 30%. Shitty.
This time he told me. "I cant tell where that area was because it isnt there any more." I cant locate any areas of damage.
Me. : So its like it never happened? Im fine.
Dr. G- Well it looks that way to me.
Me. Then why am I so afraid all the time.
Dr. G Everyones afraid. Noone wants to die. You just have had the first part right in front of you and you dont want to go back there too soon.
Dr. G You have to start living your life again. You have been on hold for three years waiting for something to "Happen" Its not going to happen. I have patients that are in their seventies, You are fine, please live your life.
Me: Im afraid.
Dr. G- So am I..... but that is life.

Yeah I am going to live. I am not disabled, I am not weak, I am not going to fall and be stepped over.
I have lost twelve pounds in the past month and feel good.
I saw a guy today and he looked at me. yup you know looked at me. I am ok.

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