Flaming June's Love

This is Jack yesterday. I see a young man, nearly a man. Yet when he sees me he hugs me, wants me to rub his back when he goes to sleep, and feels sad when I scold him. He is in 7th grade and Ive looked back on this very blog and found preK posts. Post when my heart was nearly broken. Fear and dread filled posts about our future. Is it an easy task to be jacks Mom.? No.  But my rewards are greater than any burden I could ever ever claim to have. Andy and I have not made this marriage thing easy.  Nor have we always made the co parenting thing easy. BUT- God was watching and when I was just about at the end, someone, somewhere came to my rescue. Whether it was Andy, Nana, my girls, a stranger, or friend. Pulled me out of the "bridge" and kept Jack and I going over the edge. We were in the car after a brief visit to the peds office this evening.  The Dr asked him if he was on any medication.  He said No, not any more. I was so surprised he answered li...

Can you recall a tine in your life when you were really happy? Did you know you were really happy? There is a song or poem somewhere I recall that says "These are the days we will remember" I was driving Friday evening with jack and my mom to Kutztown for a Cross Country tournament and said to my Mom. I am really happy right now. RIGHT NOW! I was joyful!  I was feeling almost overwhelmed. Was that menopausal hormone surges, the Holy Spirit, or just a glimpse of "the moment"? I Was feeling physically well, my Mom is feeling good after her bout with Pneumonia and a 5 day hospitalization last month.  Andy is happy in his new job.  Really happy challenged and working hard is real good for him. Our boy is happy and healthy in 7th grade.  He is trying new things and spreading himself out a little bit.  Scary, but good for growth. My girls are good.  Owen is good. I feel good. So guess what I am happy!!  It may last a day, an hour, a week, a yea...

japama's? majama"s? Panama's? Our 13 year old son can tell youall about current affairs in the world. He can read a book in a day.  He can run like the wind. He has a beautiful smile, an incredible dry sense of humor, a heart that is faithful to a fault. He will not back down from an argument even if he knows he is wrong.  (This is bad) He cannot spell worth a shit. I can go on and on.  I am designed to ramble about his glorious attributes.  7th grade is upon us, and I rememebr that grade.  That was the year I was invisible almost the entire year.  We went from elementary school to Junior high.  The elementary schools merged and somehow my friends from the old school just "found" their way to new friends. I remember I ate lunch in the bathroom a few times when I couldnt find anyone to eat with. When my girls were in 7th grade I was freaked out.  Worried.  But they were alright, easy it seemed. My Jack is alright, he is a ...

Whenever The day comes, I want this sung at my funeral. So my babes never ever forget my love for them. My children my grandchildren and forever.

I've had grandparents, only three of the genetic 4 but my 3 were exceptional.  I recall a great grandmother as well.  Not many memories but a do recall sitting in an overstuffed chair out the mountain with her.  They were safe, cozy, chill places with them. I never imagined them as "people" really as a child, they were just my NANA and POP and GRAM. I never worried about anything around them, they were a safe haven. Now I am a NANA. Am I possibly a safe haven for My Owen?  I want to be his cozy place, his safe place, the place he goes to just be away from whatever everyday thing could be creeping around. Am I able to be that person? I feel too selfish to be anyone elses safe haven, yet when he is near I only want to hold and love him.  Kiss his sweet face and smell his baby boy smells. I dont feel like the Nana.  I feel like the Mom that happens to have more baby.... from her baby. I see Owen almost every weekday for about 2 hours.  He is us...

Our boy has bilateral stress fractures of the Tibias. That means the shin bones of both lower legs have cracks in them. How, why, when?  So many times he complained of his shins hurting.  I chalked it up to shin splints from running.  We got him new running shoes with inserts and thought that would do the trick.  Obviously not.  I feel as though I missed it.  I should have been doing more, sooner.  I cant go back and change it.  I would give it to myself if I could. He now has the summer off from any strenuous activities.  ALong with any distance running.  He does not have Cancer. The thickening of the bone is soft tissue swelling and bone. I would ask anyone that loves me that if any of my children should die, put me out of my misery so I can be with them.  I always thought that the other 2 would have eachother, I would go with the one that passed.  Wherever they were I would want to be. Whether death is a long though...