Flaming June's Love

Forever and a day right? Im going to try and write again.  Andy got me a new computer for Christmas so I will have the availability again since my last one shit the bed. Lots of new things have happened. Lots of old things have stayed the same. I will just write as if I've never been gone and catch you all up as we work our way down this path again. I know some of my healing was achieved through writing here, I can use some introspection and truth in my life.   so here we go again, thanks for joining. Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars. Khalil Gibran Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/search_results.html?q=kahlil+gibrahn&pg=2 Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars. Khalil Gibran Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/search_results.html?q=kahlil+gibrahn&pg=2 Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the mo...

When I think about blogging I wonder what could I write about?  I do think Facebook has taken away some of my vigor for this blog since I get to communicate alot of my dailys from that source. Whats new? I work at the same place for over a year!  Thats a big one.  Although it is back in the same school my career began, it is a nice predictable career.  I do make changes in peoples lives and I do like that.. I sometimes forget the impact I can have.  Until I see osmeone out in public and they are working in their field of study and HAPPY, supporting their children, and adding to society.  I didnt do that alone, but boy is it nice to think I had a hand in it. Allie and Ryan are good.  Married a bit over 6 moths, they seem to have a routine.  They hae a lovely home, and they both work hard.  The behave like an old married couple, predictable, routine, but they like that.  They went to Texas a fe weeks ago for a getaway and had fun. ...

Its that time of year again, visiting Philadelphia for the checkup. Im usually excited to go tot the city and gofor a nice dinner with Andy and maybe take a walk through the sites. I think I ll go tot the museum on Friday after my appt. We can desguise the trip as a "fun" time. But right under the surface, I know, It is a trip to check on the heart. Make sure its still banging away ti was meant to be. One of these times it will not be ok. I know that. Almost 11 years with no problems at all.  Not a single hiccup. And I know when it does happen Ill be scared. Cant think about that too much, or you ruin today. So for now, I think of a nice dinner in Philly with my guy, a walk down some historic spot that Andy will find for me. Hopefull a fe hours in the museum. But not until I meet with the guy that tells me, either 1. see you in six months or 2. Why dont you stay a day or two and we will catch up on some tests. Lets hope for the first option.

This is the ONE. 700 photographs from Allie and Ryans wedding. This one says it all for the past 26 years. The photographer actually didnt take this one. One of allies friends took it. It surely isnt set up since her cutoffs and dress hanger are in the background. It was one of the only times during this day that I wnated to cry.  So close I was. Dont hold her too close or I wont let go. Dont look at her, I wont let go. Dont say anything I wont let go. As a 22 year old kid, I had this baby.  Oh she was cute alright, but she cried constantly for the first 6 months. At one point I thought if I left her at the mall, someone nice would take her. Then something happened. Sh started to talk, and smile, and laugh with me. My heart opened up a whole new chapter. Named Allie. I know that marriage, time, children, distance will never change the relationship we have. My tears are more of a recognition of how much she means to me. My world has been the "GIRLS" sinc...

Today is ten years since my heart attack and bypass surgery. Ten years ago I gave birth to this precious boy. How can the best and worst come together? I am blessed to be here, and have seen as many days as I have. I amin the throws of craziness in our house. Weddings, broken bones, pulmonary embolisms, cataract surgeries. Wedding, wedding, wedding!! BUT, I am here. I didnt think I would be. I rememeber praying for ne more day with my family. One more time to see my baby. SCREAMING to see my baby one more time. Praying my girls forgave me for leaving them. But here we are. Ten years... I am blessed beyond words, grateful and humbled for all of my blessings. I am in love with my life, through it all I wouldnt change a thing. Thank God, THANK YOU GOD.

Where have I been,? My laptop shit the bed.  So I am a squatter wherever I can find a computer with access. Yipppee I found a looophole at work and here I am! Whats new? Nothing... Everything? What more can I say than these beauties above. Now that I can reacha computer I will be around more often.  Thank you for nt forgetting about me,. I see people are checking frequently to see if there is anything new. Im here, Im ok. Im ready.

HS reunion 30 years. More than that, I have lived this long?! What was on my mind at the time of the above photo.  circa 1984? I wrote poetry and stories then destroyed them or hid them under my bed. I wondered if I would ever have a boyfriend, would anyone ever love me? I knew I was going to Nursing school, but was indifferent about the idea.  I wanted to go somewhere and didnt really care where. I was wearing Amy's Moms sweater, she wore my Moms sweater. I had nevereending thoughts about living in a city, in a small apartment, minding my business. My life was very predictable and stable.  My parents worked hard and I had a job at the lawyers office as a receptionist. "kLEINBERG, MARONEY MASTERSON AND SCHACHTER THIS IS SUZANNE SPEAKING HOW MAY I HELP YOU/" I had a date to the prom, but he hardly spoke to me and once we got there he disappeared with his girlfiend that was attending with some other poor sap that invited her. But my dress was beautiful, my m...