Flaming June's Love

Andy, Jack and I went to Jim Thorpe on Saturday. We walked the trail along the river and watched Jack explore and pretend he was hunting Dinosaurs. He picked up sticks that were definitely T Rex leg bones! He found rocks that were fossils! He marked the dirt with x's to mark the spot for Pirate treasure. He talked to passersby about their bicycles, and their pets. He asked a few families if he could pet their dogs. They obliged and he was great. Jack threw stones in the water, climbed rocks and shuffled along the riverbanks. Andy and I walked holding hands or just side by side and admired the boy that is sometimes taking every ounce of ourselves. He is beautiful, smart and ingenious. He is tiring, loud, repetitive, ruthlessly adamant, tirelessly moving, and draining. I adore this boy that is sapping my youth. I was looking at pictures from 2005 and I look a heck of alot better then than I do now. I am not blaming Jack, but I am wearing old, quickly. My heart is full of LOVE. My b...

Pearl Jam. I heard of them but didint know what I was hearing until this morning. I was driving to work and heard this song. I didnt cry, but I certainly felt the lyrics. I am in love. Enjoy.

The other day Jack and I went to the flower store. We chose red, yellow, purple, and white mums. A few pumpkins, a few scarecrows and the yard looks really autumnal. OK to the story. I let Jack play in the car while I emptied the car. He cant get in to too much trouble in a turned off car RIGHT? Well all looked well when he got out of the car. We planted our flowers and decorated and kept moving. The next morning I was in the car at 730 started the car for work and saw a slow ppppfffftsht. on the dashboard. hmm. The radio was out, the dash lights, the side view mirrors didnt work either. OK obviously a blown fuse. At this point Jack and Andy were on their way into Andys truck to go to school and work. It was then that I remembered Hmm who was in the car last? JACK. I searched the dash and it hit me. Pennies. I looked a little closer and there was Abe Lincoln head up facing out perfectly from the hole of the lighter. He had pushed pennies into the lighter hole, perfectly lined up, and...

Just spit it out... really spit IT OUT! Allie was a junior in HS. She was taking a test and had her new fancy pen hanging from the corner of her mouth. She had wanted a pen with "whiteout" in the cap. So when she needed to whiteout any of her work, whola!! She could WHITE IT OUT! Well anyway , she was taking her test chewing ont he end of her pen, yup the whiteout side. The cap cracked and the whoteout exploded in her mouth. The whole amount in her mouth. So what does an intelligent, child of a nurse do? hmm. quickly run to the garbage can and spit out the toxic glue/paint product? No, she swallowed it. She swallowed it. All of it. Then sat there with her esophagus burning. Why? Because she didnt want people to see her with a mouthful of whiteout, then spit it out IN FRONT OF PEOPLE!!! "I couldn't Mom, They would all laugh at me and it would be everywhere, so I swallowed it. Five minutes into the test she realized she was feeling sick and went to the nurse. Who...

Now the parking lot is empty Everyone's gone someplace I pick you up and in the trunk I've packed A cooler and a two-day suitcase Cause there's a place we like to drive Way out in the country Five miles out of the city limit we're singing And your hand's upon my knee So we're okay, we're fine Baby I'm here to stop your crying Chase all the ghosts from your head I'm stronger than the monster beneath your bed Smarter than the tricks played on your heart We'll look at them together then we'll take them apart Adding up the total of a love that's true Multiply life by the power of two You know the things I'm afraid of I'm not afraid to tell And if we ever leave a legacy It's that we loved each other well Cause I've seen the shadows of so many people Trying on the treasures of youth But a road that's fancy and fast ends in a fatal crash And I'm glad we got off to tell you the truth Cause we're okay, we're fine Ba...

OK so the post with the song and lyrics about my father chair, yeah sad shit I know. But honestly I feel pretty good today. I woke with the lingering vision of him from a last minute dream I had. He was wearing his worn out blue jeans, red suspenders a blue plaid shirt and his old dirty work boots. He was wearing a babseball cap and he was normal and happy. We were out the mountain and he was sitting on the swing in the back of the house. I dont recall a conversation, just a feeling that all was well. So I woke with a picture of him in my mind when everything was fine. I am getting better I think. That is not to say I am not missing him or the life we had of "nothing bad ever happens to us", but I am able to have happy thoughts and memories. Took Jack to church this morning. We have been going on Sunday mornings for a number of reasons. First he has to go during school and he was very misbehaved the last time.. Sister requested he not attend church with thte class ...

My father's chair's still standing there All alone since the long night Now it's three years on and I still feel He'll come home, we'll be alright So where's this healing time brings I was told the pain would ease But it still hurts like the first night That night my brother, my mother and I Were looking up at a distant star And wishing we could reach that far And back in the house And alone for the first time We told each other we cared We avoided my father's chair I watch my family, we hold on We are strong and we'll be alright The clock continues counting down, All the while And every child will share the long night But do the spirits meet again Why am I still so filled with doubt Is my soul everlasting And the far distant future When I knew you'd be gone Came too fast and stays too long Why do they leave the weak of spirit And take the strong But wherein the world turns sour And I get sick from the smell And I can't find no comfort there I cl...