Flaming June's Love

Tonight is the first Blue Moon, in like forever. Well after googling Blue Moon it turns out to be NOT THAT RARE. It certainly isnt a Haleys Comet, kind of rare. It is the second full moon of a single month. Which I enjoyed reading had/has something to do with old proverbs in the bible.  The timing of Easter has to do with lunar cycles. OK, that being "put to bed".  Lets talk about those things that again, only happen every once in a while.  As well as what should I do with my blue moon this evening?  Another fact that this is not a literal BLUE MOON.  It is just a full moon. Just a full moon.  Should I call a friend that I dont talk to enough? Should I go for a walk by moonlight? Maybe I should kiss my husband under the full moon? He's working late. Should I go for ice cream and sit with ALL THOSE PEOPLE that seem to gather at the Baskin Robbins in town? Hmm I dont think so they seem far too... familiar for me. I think they have an ice cream club...

I heard this song the other day while driving in the car.  As usual I think first of a lovers song.  Then immediately following I focus on MY LOVES. My children, my boy. I am sure my on and on about these kids can get... boring. But returning to one of the original purposes of this blog  I must write what fills me, and right now I remain filled with these people. Allie, Missi and Jack. I listen and read the lyrics to this song and each verse brings me to each and then comes around again to another. Winding a path back around to myself-which is always a good place to start. For example: Well, there's so much they hold And just like them old stars I see that you've come so far To be right where you are How old is your soul? These lines are my Boy.  The Boy.  He came to us and showed us a way out of our misery of loss with his bluest eyes and smile of purest joy.  He has an old soul that guided us OUT-FORWARD. I was damaged, but his BEING ma...

Seems like yesterday. 

Our boy will be seven years old tomorrow. I remember feeling soooo heavy with him the night before he was born.  I was so swollen and short of breath. Then with all the excitement of his birth adn then following, it has been an amazing ride with our boy for sure. Tonight we had our second soccer practice.  i feel guilty admitting this but, I have almost trained myself to dread these outings. Up until this year doing anything with other children or adults was very VERY unpredictable.  Last year playing soccer when he was on... he was awesome. Last year when he was off, it was temper tantrums, and unpredictable outbursts with other children and adults. This year we have had a birthday party with twenty plus children and he PLAYED with them. He greeted his guests each by name ( with encouragement)  Thanked people for their gifts and was an awesome host. He has really great days at camp, making new friends and learning how to "keep his hands to himself." We hav...

Not cool, but I have never claimed to be. Just so touching at this sappy time.

I was supposed to go to Philadelphia tomorrow for a follow-up appointment with the cardiologist.  They cancelled me until Tues the 13th.  Which is fine with me since we are having Jacks swim party from 6 to 8.  Dads anniversary being tomorrow, should it be a solemn day?  I don't know. I certainly cannot forget the day.  Nor the events that changed all our lives on this date. But Jack is an amazing SEVEN YEARS OLD. Every ounce of our boy is vibrating with LIFE!!! Every fiber of his being is beating and strumming with magic. He is a blurred symphony of fast moving, dust scattering carnival lights. Our boy is the unplanned saving GRACE of our lives, whether we know it or not. What did we do before Jack. I dreamed of Jack. I remember a vivid dream I had back in 2002.  I was semi awake looking for a baby in my room.  The baby was a little boy with blonde hair and blue eyes who was sleeping in the laundry basket.  As clear as life itself he wa...

My girl Allie came home from work today, after a twelve hour shift in the ICU, exhausted.  I remember my Dad saying when I would come home... "Kill anyone today?" "No?.. Then it was a good day." I asked her that the other day. and she answered " I was the nurse for a family today as they withdrew life support." We are quickly approaching the six year anniversary of my Dads "withdrawal of life support." August 9th. I remember that event as if it happened yesterday, yet thankfully I dont think of it everyday.  Sometimes I can go days without thoughts of THAT event.  But certainly not a day goes by without thinking of my Dad. What would he think of our girls, and our beautiful boy.? All of our kids have changed so much since that last day. Is he watching and seeing our ups and down? Does he know we aren't forgetting him.? Allie was telling me the story of the family letting their Dad go the other day.   It wrenched at my gut and makes ...