Flaming June's Love

Tomorrow morning I will wake up and be 48 years old. How old is that? Old enough to know better, Old enough to know love, and friendship. I've had a good 48.  I want at least 20 more. Jack said to me in the car yesterday, "I hope you live long enough to see my children, and be their Nana." I told him I hope I do too pal, but if I don't I will be an angel watching over you as you are a great Daddy and husband someday. No sad stuff. What are the highlights of my 47th year? Married nine years, Two daughter got engaged, My boy survived the second grade and in the end... He was successful. I watched Jack grow up, he is a boy now, He is private, gets embarassed, has friends, plays sports, TALKS a BLUUUUUUUE streak! I remember the days I swore he would never talk.  Then GOD intervened and here we are. Andy became Mayor.  ... ? ? ? I have some really good dear friends. I haven't been able to say that for quite some time. I have friends that I trust...

My beautiful, smart, funny, independnt, loving daughters. Big things are happening in their lives.  They have both found good men to spend the rest of their lives with. For this, I am grateful. Honestly, I could not have found two more well suited guys for them. Ryan makes Allie laugh.  Out loud, tears in her eyes, laugh. When I think of the times I love most with my Andy it is the times when he makes me laugh. There are aspects of their relationship that remind me alot of Tim and I. An understated familiarity.  A comfortable place they find in one another. They have similar goals.  To be happy, simple, honest people.  Together. That I like for her. Brandon is sweet and tender.  He loves Melissa with is whole heart.  It is obvious when you see them together, he admires her when she is next to him, across form him, or across the room.  He anticipates her needs and tends to them even without her asking. They both have such inno...

I went to an antique, rummage type sale at the community Temple.  A basement full of dishes, candlesticks, old records and lots of vintage costume jewelry.  I loved it all.  Since the house is jammed full of things that I LOVE...  I have taken to only buying things I intend to give away.  It doesnt mean I love these items any less, it just means I LOVE them so much I have committed them to someone else, as soon as I buy it. I think this makes me love them even more, they have to speak to me, move me, or appear to already belong to someone else before I will take them home.  I walked into the Temple, and having never been inside before thinking about a whole bunch of things.  I have been reading alot of books lately concerning world War II.  The Book Thief Once We Were Brothers Those Who Save Us Monuments Men The Bakers Daughter The Lost Wife Sarah Key So I entered with the families from my books written on the faces of the men and...

I know it is coming.  Big changes are right around the corner.  I am loving these days right now. I have a great relationship with my husband right now.  We are on a really good run. We are going with jack to NYC this weekend just to BE. I like him. One dayh at a time. I get to spend a few days a week with my Mom.  We shop, lunch, chat.  She is my go to gal.  I wish I could be there for her more, but for now-she seems to enjoy her independence.  I enjoy our sleepovers when Andy is away.  We have dinner and chat, do homework with Jack and simply just be. My boy has had a really good year.  His teacher Mrs. Gill has been an absolute Godsend.  This is the first year since his birth that I have been able to... step away.  Let my mind go somewhere other than, where, what, how, when and why's about the boy.  Oh I am still on top of the game, but at least I can breath.  He is speaking-perfectly clear sentences... He has ...

The season of Lent is upon us.  Today is Ash Wednesday and we should observe this day by going to church and receiving ashes. I am hopeful Jack has a goo dday at school today.  He was anxious about ashes on his forehead. I will hopefully be writing everyday for lent. I hope to get some spiritual reward by reigniting my writing. Maybe a daily purge will bring me closer to something important. Lent. I am giving up donuts as well. We are to reflect and be prayerful at this time of year. I will try my best. Jack is working diligently on his random acts of kindness still. One a day for lent. Let the "donut free random acts of kindness blogging prayerful 40 days and nights begin." Love to all. I feel empty for thoughts to blog about. But still love my babies.

It is not that I dont have anything to say, because I do. I just dont know if I want to anymore. Out loud. Lets see.... I busted through the other side of my season of sadness always the early fall. came out to greet Thanksgiving and Christmas with a positive attitude. Here I am in mid February, feeling, the same. All of the stuff that was there last year, still here this year. But... this year... I am okay with being HERE. Literally and figuratively. HERE is a lucky, healthy,manageable, mostly predictable, good place. Is it perfect? No.  Am I settling for something less than I deserve, or desire,. No.  I am actually happy with where we are. The girls are good. Our boy.. is good. My man is happy, feeling fullfilled sooo a happy daddy. I am good. Is it ok to feed off of all of them? They are happy, I am happy? Be3cause that is how it works.  At least for now. I have been writing most of these years to purge,empty myself on the page so I didnt stew mys...

"Brave" You can be amazing You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug You can be the outcast Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love Or you can start speaking up Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do When they settle ‘neath your skin Kept on the inside and no sunlight Sometimes a shadow wins But I wonder what would happen if you Say what you wanna say And let the words fall out Honestly I wanna see you be brave With what you want to say And let the words fall out Honestly I wanna see you be brave Everybody’s been there, Everybody’s been stared down by the enemy Fallen for the fear And done some disappearing, Bow down to the mighty Don’t run, stop holding your tongue Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live Maybe one of these days you can let the light in Show me how big your brave is And since your history of silence Won’t do you any good, Did you think it would? Let your words be anything but empty Why don’t...