Flaming June's Love

I went to an antique, rummage type sale at the community Temple.  A basement full of dishes, candlesticks, old records and lots of vintage costume jewelry.  I loved it all.  Since the house is jammed full of things that I LOVE...  I have taken to only buying things I intend to give away.  It doesnt mean I love these items any less, it just means I LOVE them so much I have committed them to someone else, as soon as I buy it. I think this makes me love them even more, they have to speak to me, move me, or appear to already belong to someone else before I will take them home.  I walked into the Temple, and having never been inside before thinking about a whole bunch of things.  I have been reading alot of books lately concerning world War II.  The Book Thief Once We Were Brothers Those Who Save Us Monuments Men The Bakers Daughter The Lost Wife Sarah Key So I entered with the families from my books written on the faces of the men and...

I know it is coming.  Big changes are right around the corner.  I am loving these days right now. I have a great relationship with my husband right now.  We are on a really good run. We are going with jack to NYC this weekend just to BE. I like him. One dayh at a time. I get to spend a few days a week with my Mom.  We shop, lunch, chat.  She is my go to gal.  I wish I could be there for her more, but for now-she seems to enjoy her independence.  I enjoy our sleepovers when Andy is away.  We have dinner and chat, do homework with Jack and simply just be. My boy has had a really good year.  His teacher Mrs. Gill has been an absolute Godsend.  This is the first year since his birth that I have been able to... step away.  Let my mind go somewhere other than, where, what, how, when and why's about the boy.  Oh I am still on top of the game, but at least I can breath.  He is speaking-perfectly clear sentences... He has ...

The season of Lent is upon us.  Today is Ash Wednesday and we should observe this day by going to church and receiving ashes. I am hopeful Jack has a goo dday at school today.  He was anxious about ashes on his forehead. I will hopefully be writing everyday for lent. I hope to get some spiritual reward by reigniting my writing. Maybe a daily purge will bring me closer to something important. Lent. I am giving up donuts as well. We are to reflect and be prayerful at this time of year. I will try my best. Jack is working diligently on his random acts of kindness still. One a day for lent. Let the "donut free random acts of kindness blogging prayerful 40 days and nights begin." Love to all. I feel empty for thoughts to blog about. But still love my babies.

It is not that I dont have anything to say, because I do. I just dont know if I want to anymore. Out loud. Lets see.... I busted through the other side of my season of sadness always the early fall. came out to greet Thanksgiving and Christmas with a positive attitude. Here I am in mid February, feeling, the same. All of the stuff that was there last year, still here this year. But... this year... I am okay with being HERE. Literally and figuratively. HERE is a lucky, healthy,manageable, mostly predictable, good place. Is it perfect? No.  Am I settling for something less than I deserve, or desire,. No.  I am actually happy with where we are. The girls are good. Our boy.. is good. My man is happy, feeling fullfilled sooo a happy daddy. I am good. Is it ok to feed off of all of them? They are happy, I am happy? Be3cause that is how it works.  At least for now. I have been writing most of these years to purge,empty myself on the page so I didnt stew mys...

"Brave" You can be amazing You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug You can be the outcast Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love Or you can start speaking up Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do When they settle ‘neath your skin Kept on the inside and no sunlight Sometimes a shadow wins But I wonder what would happen if you Say what you wanna say And let the words fall out Honestly I wanna see you be brave With what you want to say And let the words fall out Honestly I wanna see you be brave Everybody’s been there, Everybody’s been stared down by the enemy Fallen for the fear And done some disappearing, Bow down to the mighty Don’t run, stop holding your tongue Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live Maybe one of these days you can let the light in Show me how big your brave is And since your history of silence Won’t do you any good, Did you think it would? Let your words be anything but empty Why don’t...

My two boys are CONSTANTLY on the go.  Andy is either at work, soccer, borough building, fire calls, or one of the apartments.  I am accustomed to it, and wactually LIKE when he is busy so I can do my thing.  Our boy Jack is very much the same way.  He is an on the go  kind of kid.  When they do stop, I like to catch it.  The first is Andy sleeping in the lounger out the mountain on Labor day.  Yes he sleeps like that.  He looks like hes ready to jump  up and do something.  ALL THE TIME.  The next is when Jack slowed down enough over that day to realize Daddy had stopped, then he landed on him.  Just like this,, underwear hanging out of his camo shorts. The last is one evening this summer, the boy fell asleep early all snuggled up and Daddy decided he looks cozy, and FELL ASLEEP WITH HIM!!!  perfect. I like these pictures, my boys,quiet. resting, peaceful.. QUIET. quiet. Ramping up for Autumn. Feeling ve...

Every leaf speaks bliss to me, Fluttering from the autumn tree. Emily Bronte Nature's first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold, Her early leaf's a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay. Robert Frost Nothing Gold Can Stay. This leaf I picked up out the mountain over labor day weekend.  I have it on the hood of our car, I didnt intend for it to turn out so cool looking with the reflection, but it is pretty. What can i say about the fall?  It seems like more of a new begining to me than new years eve. Restart of school for everyone. Myself, a new semester, Missi starting her lat semester of in class at LCCC until she begins her internship in January. Jack begining second grade which has been really good so far.  Soccer games, started karate with the boy. I like the rebirth of spring, but there is something to be said about shedding what we have, to be left ...