Flaming June's Love

I have alot to think about. I do know a few things. My daughters are my courage. My son is my challenge. My husband is my bittersweetness. My mother is my reminder. My brothers are my past. My job is my out. I had a beautiful Christmas, I am now typing on my beautiful new Dell laptop. I will be able to blog anytime I want. As long as I find something to say.

I dont know what that title means but it sounds intriguing. I have alot of titles that would make for an awesome post I just dont have the conversation to complete the tag. How about The last thing i wished for.... The last thing I didnt want to happen but did was.... When I looked in your eyes the last time I saw.... I laughed so hard it made me cry... I stepped off the plane and... I got into my car and went... You were the reason I... And one of my favorite non existent posts... You know its true, you just havent digested it yet. Hmm. I have so much to write about, Christmas shopping, Thanksgiving that came and went. Jacks progress, Missi's college search. Allies trials and tribulations at College. My struggle with preholiday blues. Also the ticking of our families clock on the next disaster to hit. I am hearing it. I feel it in my bones. I dont want it, dread it but know it is coming. The night my Mom called from the hospital that Dad was fine but in the ER, I turned direct...

I heard the guy from the south that is a comedian. That is NOT WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. If you couldnt speak and had to communicate with people by holding up one sign with one sentence or sentiment written on it, what would your sign say.? Im Sorry. You are Loved. There is always Hope. Try Again. Call your Mother. Forgive yourself. I see your beauty from here. It is true. I am valuable. I am fragile. I am smiling inside. I will be your friend. Let it go. Choose, then move on. Take a deep breath. Make a list. Write it down. It feels better once on the outside of your head. HuG ME!!!

How many people did you see today? How many people do you know their names? How many would you say hello to if you saw them somewhere? How many are hugworthy? How many would you invite out for coffee? How many to your home? How many would your remember next year, two years, ten? How many were family, and how many did you want to be family? How many were lovers or were you just in momentary love with? How many will you remember in your last minutes in this world? I have been listing lately. Not tilting list, but 1 to 10, a to z, most to least listing. My favorite patients, I recall at most 5. Favorites because they taught me something about myself through I believe, divine intervention. A patient that had a heart attack while visiting his son in the burn unit. I took care of the son but visited the father in the icu. The son died, the father died a few hours later. I learned about a parents love of their child from him. The Dad was in his eighties his son, in his sixties. Neverth...

I am not a Mormon, but what would that mean if I was? I have found people on the blogger world that are Mormons and have incredible, hope, compassion, Faith in humanity, family ties that are unbreakable. What am I? I am undefined at the moment in the religious world. Or should I say not quite in a certain genre of religion. I am raised Catholic but not considered one the "flock" since I am remarried without annullment. I am a very spiritual person and see God in my life everyday. I believe in Jesus Christ as the son of God and as savior for those who call upon him and believe in him. So what does that make me? A displaced gentile? I have thought about finding a new church. But have ties to the old from history. Either way Mormon is from the outside a way of life. I admire their courage to simply follow the rules. It appears to me that the tenacity to "do the right thing" as exampled by Jesus Christ and his desciples should be a religion.? What religion ...

I have been through alot, kids, marriages, deaths, loss of friends, and a tangle with the here after. Prior to all that shtuff I was a typical girl who worried about how I looked and, in turn, interested in who was looking at me. I was never a stunningly gorgeous girl, but I must admit I was attractive and charming. People thought I was funny, smart and had an attractive figure. I remain, smart, and funny, but I dont quite have the figure I used to. I miss it. I miss feeling people look at me. I knew when men watched me and I would play somewhat oblivious and at the last minute pass a look or wink. Most of all I could smile at anyone. I smiled at young women, old men, kids, anyone. I think that was just my thing. I wasnt pretty to the point of being intimidating, but attractive enough that people looked at me. I dont have it anymore. I am smart, funny and entertaining. But I am not the one that the a man thinks to take home with him for the night. I know I shouldn't car...