Kate, rhymes with hate doesnt it?

I have been through alot, kids, marriages, deaths, loss of friends, and a tangle with the here after. Prior to all that shtuff I was a typical girl who worried about how I looked and, in turn, interested in who was looking at me.
I was never a stunningly gorgeous girl, but I must admit I was attractive and charming. People thought I was funny, smart and had an attractive figure. I remain, smart, and funny, but I dont quite have the figure I used to. I miss it. I miss feeling people look at me. I knew when men watched me and I would play somewhat oblivious and at the last minute pass a look or wink. Most of all I could smile at anyone. I smiled at young women, old men, kids, anyone. I think that was just my thing. I wasnt pretty to the point of being intimidating, but attractive enough that people looked at me.
I dont have it anymore.
I am smart, funny and entertaining. But I am not the one that the a man thinks to take home with him for the night. I know I shouldn't care about those things, married, kids, too busy, horseshit.
I am still a woman that enjoys a little flirtatious fun.
That is how the whole Andy thing happened.
I was cute, I knew it.
He was handsome and smart.
We played cat and mouse and that was it.
So where am I going, I dont want to be a cheater, I love my husband.
Cheating is too stressful and definately not worth the agravation that follows.
I guess I am pining for my youth, and girlish ways.
I need to find my womanly ways now. A comfortable place in the world as a woman of "substance" and "experience".
Smart is not something you can get at the plastic surgeon.
Quick witted and sharp minded doesnt ever go on sale for the dull.
But shit-why cant a good ass and sharp features be as easy to conjure as a memorable blog post?
As for Kate Beckinsale- well- Go Away.