Flaming June's Love

First off if you didnt know Eric Clapton is my all time favorite GUY. I love his music, I love his life story, his courage, what he represents to so many... Just an all around normal, yet amazing guy. I found this clip of a blues festival put together by Eric to benefit his addictions center. Love him and all of it. This clip is awesome if you have the ten or so minutes to give it. Just plop yourself in the middle of this event and escape for a few minutes like I did. The next thing I got for you guys is a message from my Dad. Yeah here is the story. We were sitting on the back deck at the mountain house and as we were just chattin away a huge feather fell and landed right in my chair. I had just gotten up to check on Jack and felt something brush my shoulder but I thought it was a bug. I went to sit back down and there it was. OK so how is this message from my Dad. Hmmm.... Because I want it to be... What does it mean? Anything I want. We went to a clairvoyant a day later ...

I have so many things going in right now but I dont feel motivated to write. I am uninspired. I can write and ramble about the day to day shtick. But the inside stuff is just a jumbled mess lately. My boy is a challenge. Can I say that out loud without sounding like a horrible mom. He is a challenge and pushes my limits of understanding. I can love someone that drives me to the point of distraction? right? He is beautiful and sweet but he has his moments when he ust doesnt hear, listen, comprehend what I am saying. He is in Jack world and it takes more than a bit to get inside his world. His teacher reports to me that he is very smart and he is doing his "work" exceptionally well. His temper tantrums can be more than difficult. Yeah I know I have my moments as well. I am finding that if I ust move him from the area and talk to him for a minute he seems to calm down. But then hter are times when he just screams. loud, shrieking, shrill, bone rattling, teeth grindin...

I dont have an answer to that one quite yet. I seem to have to have motivation to write or a topic. My days seem so... the same and boring. Jack started his new school on Tuesday and got onto the bus and gave high fives all around the bus. Interestingly enough none of the other children talk soooooo he was quite the brilliant one that morning. No doubt I feel that way everyday but he was so cute. He was kind enough to say Hi beeoooyzz as he got on board and said it quite a few times. Hi beeoooyzzz, hi beeeoooyzzz. then grabbed the hand of the boy next to him and said to him Beeooy. beeooyyy. I had a small chuckle to see that the child was smiling at Jack and holding his hand yet not answering him. Amy called later that evening to let me know that our child was an angel and chatted and worked hard at school that day and he was wonderful. I know that he will be fine and that the day will come sooner than later that he has many words. Many sentences and just as many opinions....

A lot of stuff but not much to say. Andy, JAck and I went with Nana Danny and my nephew Ben went to an amusement park that is about one hour away. The place knoebels grove is an old pashioned amusement park that has maintained itself and remains a lovely family park. Jack had a ball and rode rideds and ate junk food all day. Every ride reminded me of days with my girls. Tim, no Tim, Amy, bu talways my girls. Life changes and times change. Gilrs were working and at school so we went for the day without them. I found it a sweet day with our beautiful boy and I still felt a twinge of guilt, loss and longing for the old days. I am getting exactly what I asked for my girls are growing up and responsible smart and flourishing. Life is good,. I sometimes I dont want that. I like the feeling of being needed. My girl ended her relationship with her boyfriend of two years. It was difficult and she is feeling the loss now. I know she is sure she did the right thing because she needs ...

I have spoken of my friend Maryellen a few times and I can look back and find the blog entries around the time of her death. Allie and her daughter Jackie have ben friends for as long as first grade. They had a love hate relationship for many years and then at the time when I wa inthe hospital to the time Maryellen died they became grownup friends. They almost had too really. Since we moved Jackie hasnt been over that much because she isnt the best driver. She came over for dinner on Monday night and it was so sweet. Nice and cozy like the old days if only for a short while. Andy will be on the road next week and I am almost looking forward to it. Not because Idont love him but it will be nice to have a lil girl time. Jackie is the beautiful red head on the porch and the other pics are of the girls and Jack on the same night. I know Maryellen would be so proud of her girl now. She is trying really hard and is getting more and more beautiful everyday. Of course had to throw in t...