Flaming June's Love

I am so full of analogies or comparisons lately. I see things as what they are and then something turns on inside and I the unassuming balloon becomes... something else. Jack loves balloons I have posted pics of him throughout his three years of him and numerous holidays and coinciding balloons. Nothing was different for this his third birthday. He had an awesome balloon that said Happy Birthday and had an abundance of zoo animals all over it. He loved it. It had the mandatory weight at the bottom so the possibility of floating away was beyond my scope..LOL He had it in his room, every room of the house and finally yesterday out on the back deck. The weight was doing its job and no matter how far or hard he threw it, it would land with a thud. It would float and bob but still remained at its premeasured and standard five feet. As I was in and out of the house it would take note of its location and go on my way. It was at times in his hand around his feet or just, "lurking...

Yeah so the anniversary month from hell is almost over. I am kinda sad that Jacks birthday will always be attached to some really shitty things but then again there is always a bright part to my bad month forever. I am officially on the planet three years longer than I really should be. Now if you ask GOD He will tell you that everything happensed exactly as is was supposed to happen but if you talk to anyone else that was around there int hat hospital they will have another story. I remember that day was a Thursday and I breast fed Jack for the first and only time that day. I knew I was having trouble breathing and feeling really fatigued, but who would have thought that. I dont want to hash it all back up again I really need not be that person anymore I guess. I dont want to to be that person anymore. I dont want to think that everytime I feel a twinge or short of breath or indigestion I am about to drop dead but truly it is a little hard to let go of sometimes. ok so why am I g...

Had a great day and our boy is now a three year old. He got so many car items and he loves them. I am attaching some of them here. Love to all of you and I will write more soon.

OK so do you remember riding your bike? If you havent done it in a while I tell you it is not, I REPEAT the same as when you were twelve. This event happened about a week ago but just had the thought pop back on into town, (You know my brain...) OK so I am riding along the dike,? dyke? (spelling wrong, political fopah IM sure, sorry...) anyway along the river with my boy on the back and the path is maybe ten feet wide. Yeah thats wide... well put a three year old on the back that cant sit still and points and yells at every bird and remarks about all the aiwwpwaayyyyssss (c'mon thats airplane..) He is a wiggling jostling turbo back there and I cant see him except a shadow occasionally depending on the direction we are riding. So I am not a confident bicyclist, maybe 4 on the scale of one to ten. Fine with just Jack and I, but.... damn put someone else up there coming the other way and I turn into a wobbling feet dragging wining ooohhhnooo person. OKL to get to the point th...