Three years tomorrow

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Yeah so the anniversary month from hell is almost over. I am kinda sad that Jacks birthday will always be attached to some really shitty things but then again there is always a bright part to my bad month forever.
I am officially on the planet three years longer than I really should be. Now if you ask GOD He will tell you that everything happensed exactly as is was supposed to happen but if you talk to anyone else that was around there int hat hospital they will have another story.
I remember that day was a Thursday and I breast fed Jack for the first and only time that day. I knew I was having trouble breathing and feeling really fatigued, but who would have thought that.
I dont want to hash it all back up again I really need not be that person anymore I guess. I dont want to to be that person anymore. I dont want to think that everytime I feel a twinge or short of breath or indigestion I am about to drop dead but truly it is a little hard to let go of sometimes.
ok so why am I glad to still be here.
My kids
Jack 1,2,3 years old.
Missi 14,15,16
Allie 17,18, 19
High school starts and graduations, preschool starts and first steps/
Selling homes and building new ones. Letting go of people and welcoming new ones in.
Forgiving and attempting to forget.
I am grateful, my family is grateful and I know GOD is good.

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