Flaming June's Love

I am feeling good. Physically and emotionally I feel strong. I rode my bike today about three miles with Jack on the back. I really need a pic of that so you can appreciate the scene of the two of us riding that bike. It was a truly spectacular day and clear blue skies with a beautiful breeze blowing. Cool fresh air and we went along the river and how the scene has changed since we began our walks. As you stand up on the dike now the whole valley surrounds you with green trees and blue skies and sparkling river. The dike project now finished is amazing to walk or bike. I was riding and all I could think was how beautiful the whole scene was. Kids playing soccer on one side of me the river on another. A small biplane flying round over head since there is a small private airport in our town, people take lessons and fly about the river and admire the scene. People say hi to you talk to Jack and really a nice place to be. Our house today looks beautiful. Andy has been working h...

If you dont know the stiry il;l make it quick and hopefully painless. Heartattack and a Dr that literally walked in on it and saved my life by thinking fast and having excellent timing. I remember gong into congestive heart failure and respiratory failure and grabbing him by his tie and telling him "I cant breathe, dont let me die." He said, "Im really trying." I also rememember being intubated while awake(I dont suggest that AT ALL) and he was standing behind a glasss window in the Cath lab and he had his hands in his hair and staring at me. I remember catching his eye and thinking this guy has to help me. Dr. G is about 6 feet tall, daerk salt and pepper hair about thre years alder than me and so down to earth and normal its unbeleievable. He is very much like my brother Dan. Cautious, watchful but sharp. To try to convey how I feel about this guy think about someone.... hmmm... I have no desire to sleep with the guy, (Which for those who know me is quite A...

I wasnt feelin that qell yesterday so plopped on the bed and hit some cahnnels on the tube that I never get to. I found the Glenn Miller story. Yeah a classic and so much a family thing. I learned to dance from my Dad. He taught me our living room in NJ. It was a ten minute lesson on the basics, the only thing was that I never neede to know how to dance unless I was with him. We could dance I must say. He was an excellent lead and Icould follow him through any music and any song. Spins dips, jitterbugs, swing and we always always had a great time. In the mood was a classic for us. swing was a good one for us. He sparkled and lead me around any foor and I havent had that ever since nor will I ever. Its ok though some things are meant to be just US. ps There were mornings I was woken up with this music playing and Dad singing his heart out to us. Cant ever forget that.

Yeah well the title says almost all of it doesnt it. LOL Allie had the pukers yesterday, Missi the night before ANdy has the crappers today and I just feel like Im gonna explode! Dont know if Im gonna puke or the other but I am really bloated. Things are relatively good here. All is quiet in the world and I am feeling good. Andy and I will be married THREE Years on Thursday. Yup its true. It went really fast and we have done so much in those few years. I do beleive we should just skip to ten years since we have hit so many milestones in such a short time.! I am attaching our wedding song from youtube and a pic from our wedding day if I can find one on this computer. He doesnt read this much so when you do Babe know that even when I am doubting everything and afraid I always LOVE you. You can make me laugh at the best and worst t imes and there isnt a day that goes by that I dont think how handsome you are.

i have been scared all day. i know he is out of danger but my heart is scared, I have been aware of the thin cord that attaches us to this life I have watched patients leave this world and go to another. I have been with friends as they pass through what the undefined mist is. I felt my father leave his body as he looked me straight in the eye as I smiled at him and told him we would be alright. The potential of losing a child of ours is too monstrous to hold close to myself for too long because it becomes almost real. The images, the despair, the loss is stirring of reality. I swat the images away like flies, only to have them buzz about my head when I am least expecting. I have no control over the kosmic reasoning in life and loss. I do know how fragile it all is. Life and death are both balancing on a pinpoint and the least offensive of winds can send the whole thing down. THANK YOU FOR SAVING HIM. THANK YOU FOR SAVING ALL OF US,