Flaming June's Love

Its been a few days since I posted, not that I m terribly busy but I do have things going on in my life. Today is Melissa's 15th birthday. I remember today as a cold dark morning tha I had to be at the hospital early for a shceduled C-section. Tim and I arrived and everything went beautifully. Until first the OB announced as he was delivering her head "W'eve got a boys face...Looks pretty boyish Tim..... Its a girl!!!!" He said OUT LOUD!!! AH SHIT!! I should have divorced him that day right there and then. I was sorta out of it and didnt hear the baby cry at first. waiting waiting waiting..... Tim was at my head and his tone changed to everything is going to be ok, its gonna be ok really. Turns out she aspirated upon delivery and was in respiratory distress. Our little pumpkin was blue and not moving. They rushed her out and intubated her quickly and flew her to CMC in Scranton. Iwas at Pocono where I was working at the time. My Mom was at our house i...

Okay I made a really excellent chicken dish for dinner, I found the jackdaniels barbecue recipe and did up a chicken for my family and my neighbors family. My friend at least the past 15 years whose daughter is the same age as mine, was diagnosed with colon cancer last January. They gave her three months since she let it go so long and here she is hanging in there but very tired and thin weak. I make enough for her and me her kids and mine. It is the least I can do for her. She stood by me when I went thrrough my divorce, always a shoulder tpo cry on and then was around for all the drama with Andy before we got married and so forth. She is one person I talk to everyday and look forward to the same talk everyevening. Dinner, the kids, husbands, what the baby is up to and "how we are feeling really." She is only fifty years old and can see the end is near. We dont actually tal;k abaout the end but she cries about not seeing her granchildren. I love her like a sister...

I read all of my posts and boy do I sound like a bummer. Truly I am not this down and out. But as I stated in the begining I will write what I want when.... This past weekend I went to Penn Stae with my oldest daughter and her boyfriend to a football game and then out for dinner and a few beers. (me not them OLOL) I was very (very) excited to meet a few guys that were in their late thirties and forties that wanted me to hang out with them at the bar. Here is how it went.... I went to the ladies room and had to walk past thebarto get back to our table. On the way I knocked a oat on the floor. A gentlemen made a joke I a chatted back and we just started talking. The game, why I was here , who I was with? "You two look like sisters, LOL LOL" I believe I was glowing truly radiant light pouring out of the top of my head. My quick wit and charm LOL just came right back to me. The other guys said lets grab a barstool for you sit with us... " OH GOD what did I do!" On no t...

Yes, I am. I am hurting still. I feel empty at times and wonder where does life go from here for ME. OK we all know "I have my children" husband, health, dog, I am grateful. BUT I want that one person that laughs when I say shnikeys. If I told him I was thinking about opening a business he would research it for me. Knowing full well that I have had many ideas in the past that dont work out, he encouraged me. Dad, POP, where exactly are you? Andy and I and the baby went to Barnes and Noble tonight. As usual I am in the grief, recovery section. Meander over to the m,usic and then hit the new in paperback section. I browse the cookbooks. (Christmas the Paula Deene holiday book) And wine for dummies. I got a pumpkin decaf latte' And purchased Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch. I hope it has the answers I am looking for. 1. I need to come to terms with this situation, hes not coming back is he? 2. Where the hell is he exactly if he is not coming back. 3. ...

Sunday morning quiet... Jack and I are ready for the day since his internal clock seems to like 6:00 lately. It is early but not as early as if I had to go to a real job. Some one out there could consider me a Politcally correct ignoramus but I have been in both places. A stay at home mom and a working mom and trust me staying home is much easier!!!! I was working in Dialysis prior to Jacks birth. I haad to be there at 5:30 am and was there until 4:30. I was on my feet 90% of the time and was feeling incredible amounts of stress. I cant imagine having to go there and still come home to a one year old. I am truly blessed. I havent talked much about my husband. Here it is I am married to a man named Andy. He is 6'2" dark salt and pepper hair, brown eyes, dimples, beautiful teeth and a presence that demands attention. That is one of the first things I thought when I saw him. "This guy is a character and a half" He is active in local politics, and the inside w...