Best laid plans

-
Well our two week Jack and Mommy hiatus has turned into a full blown worldwide pandemic.
We spent Easter just the boys and I and honestly it was horrible.

There wasnt any thought of Easter bunny baskets dressing up...
nothing at all.
I watched mass on my computer.

I was annoyed allll day.
I miss my girls and my Mother and my LIFE.

The way I imagined it and the way this thing is going down are two totally different things.

So my plans to go out the mountain with Jack and Nana are not gone.  But certainly logistically this would not be an easy task.
I am working harder now than I have in year.  Distance learning without a board and not being able to lecture is a nightmare.  My workload is heavier and I have a full schedule.
Going out the mountain is great as long as the internet works and I can get my ZOOM to work.
The cats...
The dog
Andy being home alone means he will definitely not be cautious.
I dont know what will happen with Owen should Allie be deployed to the icu.
I would need to pack at leas three weeks of food for the mountain.
Not to mention what kind of condition the cottage will be in when we get there.

I am hoping that when the weather gets a little warmer we can go for a few days.
BUT then again, nana has been fully quarantined for three weeks.  What if I am a carrier or Jack?
This is not what I had imagined.
There is no nostalgia here.  or romance.  or kitsch.
Jacks schoolyear is ended so the eighth grade hoopla is no more.
Track and Field season cancelled.
It all just sucks.
it will come to an end, I know taht but what will our world look like when it opens its doors again.
I feel like Dorothy landing in Oz and opening the doors except....
It is not in technicolor...
it is a scary fucking deadly place.
On the bright side.
My boy is the most handsome beautiful intelligent gift of a child.  man.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Kiss

-
Image
  It has been 75 days. When I went to bed at night I would cry, every night.  My Mom would begin the process of "bedtime" at least 30 minutes before I actually had to go to my room.  She would give me the countdown. "Next commercial break"  "Ten more minutes"  "Go get your last drink of water" Some nights she would begin to doze and I would squeeze another 10 minutes until the dreaded bed time. Then began the process.  We would go to my room, which was only 12 feet from the living room in all actuality, but it was miles in my little girl heart.  Mom would pull down the covers, tuck me in, give me all of my comfort things and then I would cry.  The more she tried to make me comfortable with the thought of sleeping, alone, the harder I would cry.  If she would just say go to bed, it would have been easier. We would say my prayers together, Our Father, Hail Mary and then all of the God Bless's. The God Blesses were my definite way to get her to ...
Read more

Ayla

-
Image
 When I was in High School my best friend was Amy.  I don't remember how we met or where, but somehow we just clicked.  I believe it was probably on the patio where in the 1980's you could go outside and smoke cigarettes with your friends on free mods or breaks.  Yep those were the days.   We were in 10th grade which made us 15.  I smoked Parliament light 100's  with the recessed filters (IYKYK) and she smoked Benson and Hedges.  She was a cheerleader that was so far from the "cheerleader" type it would crack us up.  We wrote notes in those days, scraps of paper that we would purge our daily trials onto, fold in some triangular football shape and pass to one another in the hall.  We could fill a note throughout the day and then I would throw it into a box for the ages to find someday.  We were able to talk endlessly about music, people, boyfriends, animals, school, college, parents, divorce, siblings, hours of chat.  We al...
Read more

No, not that.

-
Image
 Lets talk about graduation parties!  Should I order the chicken scampi or marsala for the chicken dish?  Cakes and cupcakes or cookies?  DJ or photo booth or both? So we decorate the cake with Wyoming Seminary as a graduate or Penn State as his college destination? No, we wont talk about that.  You know, the "drophimoffandleavehimtherepart" or the "Ihaveabsolutelynopurposewithouthiminmydailygrind" lets not forget "Whenyoufoughttoliveforthisboyandnowheisgoingwhylive?" OK OK I'm not going to end my life because Jack is leaving for college, but for christs sake what the fuck is my purpose now?  I am struggling, struggling with so many things right now. I know my struggle on paper is nothing compared to so many other people.  My weight, my hair, my boy, my heart, my future.  I want to just get to the point where I can just take him and drop him off.  Rush through this summer and get it over with, pull off the bandaid quick and start the new chap...
Read more