A day with my girl.

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Went to Philly again today for Temple stuff with the Allie girl. I love her. I want her to be happy and to feel as though she is going to make a difference in this world. I know she made a difference i the world just by being in it, but I feel the world needs to know she is here. So here is to second tries, and third tries and fourth if need be, because the reward of effort is in the everyday. If it takes her five years to get where she wants to be, I will be right there doing what I can to help.

A quick note about my Dad. I think of him all the time. What would he say about this decision? or this choice? The daily grind and childrearing is always on my mind.
I think today it hit me, These small everyday things that we do have changed the outcome of everything. You cant predict how or what things may have been IF HE WAS HERE< If he was here could have changed everything else. Maybe if HE was HERE, I WOULDNT be HERE.
If I had suggested a different course of treatment when I could have he might have been here, but in what state of mind or health? Those choices were guided at the time by only wanting the best. I think back to days that shoulda, coulda, maybe woulda been different if I had done something different with the Dr's. I cant change that stuff. I would, but cant.
So here we are with the choices we make, the decisions that have presented themselves in realtime. Yeah it would have been different, but this is where we are supposed to be right now. Missing him, but coming to a degree of... acceptance.

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