beauty all around me

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The Kiss

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  It has been 75 days. When I went to bed at night I would cry, every night.  My Mom would begin the process of "bedtime" at least 30 minutes before I actually had to go to my room.  She would give me the countdown. "Next commercial break"  "Ten more minutes"  "Go get your last drink of water" Some nights she would begin to doze and I would squeeze another 10 minutes until the dreaded bed time. Then began the process.  We would go to my room, which was only 12 feet from the living room in all actuality, but it was miles in my little girl heart.  Mom would pull down the covers, tuck me in, give me all of my comfort things and then I would cry.  The more she tried to make me comfortable with the thought of sleeping, alone, the harder I would cry.  If she would just say go to bed, it would have been easier. We would say my prayers together, Our Father, Hail Mary and then all of the God Bless's. The God Blesses were my definite way to get her to ...
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 2026... I will be 60. 60 is pretty old.  Is it what I expected? I never imagined being 60 or getting this far actually.  I would love to say I will live to 80, and at this point I don't know I just might!  20 years ago I was dead and have thought every single day since then that I was dying that day.  Wasted time and energy, since obviously I am still here. Classic Suzie though.  Worry about something that never happens.   This picture I sent to Jack the other day after he sent me this. I  I love getting photos from the boy.  It is very strange that I can go hours and even close to days without thinking about him for too long.  Our agreement is that we text at night just a thumbs up that we are both still fine.  He is almost halfway through college.  He was on the Deans list last semester.   Yep the boy that I worried would never be able to live a productive life is out there doing the college thing.  ...
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 When I was in High School my best friend was Amy.  I don't remember how we met or where, but somehow we just clicked.  I believe it was probably on the patio where in the 1980's you could go outside and smoke cigarettes with your friends on free mods or breaks.  Yep those were the days.   We were in 10th grade which made us 15.  I smoked Parliament light 100's  with the recessed filters (IYKYK) and she smoked Benson and Hedges.  She was a cheerleader that was so far from the "cheerleader" type it would crack us up.  We wrote notes in those days, scraps of paper that we would purge our daily trials onto, fold in some triangular football shape and pass to one another in the hall.  We could fill a note throughout the day and then I would throw it into a box for the ages to find someday.  We were able to talk endlessly about music, people, boyfriends, animals, school, college, parents, divorce, siblings, hours of chat.  We al...
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