And so it goes...
Here we go... The holiday is officially starting. My brother has arrived from Syracuse with his family and they are at my Moms now. We had chinese food for dinner to just have something to do so as to not talk to much. Tears are so close to the surface for all of us that too much talk is sure to trigger something. For example during dinner my brother mentioned a christmas from our childhood, the tradition of opening only one gift from a family member on christmas eve. I looked at my mom and she was looking down. I know we are going through hard times without Dad but we have to keep moving.
Dave.. The oldest brother dramatic, sensitive, 12 years recovery, very very opinionated.
Rick.. wild at heart, the trouble child, the most dear friend my Dad had. short tempered, smart, analytical
Dan.. Mother to t he tea, quiet, thoughtful, smart, sensitive, handsome, committed.
Me.. The baby, dont know, you would know better.
Rick lives in New Mexico and wont be in for the holiday, I miss him terribly, he and I with Mom spent the most time with Dad in the hospital. Rick took over a month off from work to stay here in PA with us. I am so grateful for him. I spoke to him last night and cried. I feel guilt, loss, sadness, relief, despair, He does too but encourages me to stay tough for the kids we have so much to look forward to. I know that but Im sad. Ive lost my friend.
Dave will be here Christmas morning from NJ. He will talk talk talk talk. and make us cry but then laugh our asses off. He has a sense of humor that would make my Dad cry tears from laughter. One year we all went to Fla together all of us. 17 of us. mom dad 4 kids spouses and all 7 grandkids. We never laughed so hard so late, so often, I am soo lucky to have these memories and we will laugh again.
I have written before that Dad was raised by a single mom , and spent alot of time alone. Hwo he learned tor raise kids and be a good dad is beyond me. Maybe being good people simply makes good parents.
I hope to post a few pics of the family then and now we will see how my comp skills are cooking tonight.
I found a person on line that lost her mom around the same time as my dad and I was keeping up with her blog and relating to her feelings, I lost touch and dont knowhow she is doing. Funny how you can get accustomed to people on line and look forward to their writing.
My Dad is hopefully in "heaven" happy and content and not missing us as much as we are him. Have a wonderful night Pop, I miss you more than I can say. I will do my best to watch ove Ma, and be good to the kids and take one day at a time for their sake.
Love your girl, suzie
Dave.. The oldest brother dramatic, sensitive, 12 years recovery, very very opinionated.
Rick.. wild at heart, the trouble child, the most dear friend my Dad had. short tempered, smart, analytical
Dan.. Mother to t he tea, quiet, thoughtful, smart, sensitive, handsome, committed.
Me.. The baby, dont know, you would know better.
Rick lives in New Mexico and wont be in for the holiday, I miss him terribly, he and I with Mom spent the most time with Dad in the hospital. Rick took over a month off from work to stay here in PA with us. I am so grateful for him. I spoke to him last night and cried. I feel guilt, loss, sadness, relief, despair, He does too but encourages me to stay tough for the kids we have so much to look forward to. I know that but Im sad. Ive lost my friend.
Dave will be here Christmas morning from NJ. He will talk talk talk talk. and make us cry but then laugh our asses off. He has a sense of humor that would make my Dad cry tears from laughter. One year we all went to Fla together all of us. 17 of us. mom dad 4 kids spouses and all 7 grandkids. We never laughed so hard so late, so often, I am soo lucky to have these memories and we will laugh again.
I have written before that Dad was raised by a single mom , and spent alot of time alone. Hwo he learned tor raise kids and be a good dad is beyond me. Maybe being good people simply makes good parents.
I hope to post a few pics of the family then and now we will see how my comp skills are cooking tonight.
I found a person on line that lost her mom around the same time as my dad and I was keeping up with her blog and relating to her feelings, I lost touch and dont knowhow she is doing. Funny how you can get accustomed to people on line and look forward to their writing.
My Dad is hopefully in "heaven" happy and content and not missing us as much as we are him. Have a wonderful night Pop, I miss you more than I can say. I will do my best to watch ove Ma, and be good to the kids and take one day at a time for their sake.
Love your girl, suzie
Comments