Flaming June's Love

I sat on the swing. As an 8 year old girl setting with her darling grandfather snuggled up against him. We were never waiting for anything, nor were we post anything new. We would sit and chat, sit or swing and sing. This poem he recited to me as often as I could get him too. His voice deep and charming, spooky. Oh what a nice moment to remember. I hope I will see you again and hear you tell me this again.

I am on Allies computer so she has pictures that I dont. I thought I would share with all some of her stuff.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night Take these broken wings and learn to fly All your life You were only waiting for this moment to arise Black bird singing in the dead of night Take these sunken eyes and learn to see all your life you were only waiting for this moment to be free Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly Into the light of the dark black night. Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly Into the light of the dark black night. Blackbird singing in the dead of night Take these broken wings and learn to fly All your life You were only waiting for this moment to arise, You were only waiting for this moment to arise, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

I have been thinking about this post for a few weeks now. Andy's cousin Karen B died at 45 from breast cancer two weeks ago. We went to see her the weekend before she died to say goodbye and it was very sad. As we were driving home I was trying to remember the times that we were together and why she was so special. I remember the first time we met at Andy's aunts house. It was a summer party and we were all outside. She was sitting on the patio and drinking a beer. she greeted me as the new person with a hug and a huge smile and a conversation that made you think we were friends for many years. She had a contagious smile and laugh that drew attention. Not because it was intrusive but so heartfelt. She played the guitar and drank Jack Daniels shots at partys and always had one for whoever was walking by. I remember hearing years ago that she had breast cancer. Scary thought but she is tough and they caught it so early. She went through radiation and chemo and the next time...

I have found that songs and lyrics are in direct relationship with time and place for me. This song was popular at a time when Tim and I were in the last breathes of our marriage. I knew it was over yet had no idea that I could be partly responsible for the END. I can now look back and recognize my huge errors. That said, I wouldnt change a thing. The song talks about how you build your life around someone else and how whent he person changes or leaves you are changed. Who and what you are is defined by that other person. Not wholly, but they are part of your label. Now I listen to that song and I realize that I am no longer defined by my husband. My Andy adds to who and what I am. I moreso enjoy the reference to how my girls are changing and adding more to my life on a daily basis. Missi got her acceptance letter to the college of art of her choice. Her first choice school critiqued her portfolio and have her three assignments to do and they chose her for the class begining Fall...

We walked in the snow tonight. In the night that was lit by glowing white snow on the ground. He kicked up fluffs which sparkled off his red hat. His nose was red, his cheeks rosy. He walked and ran and chatted about everything. the mud, the footprints, the snowflakes, his boots, The rabbits, the other kids, the river, the water, the dog, my boots, the snowplows. It was dark out but the sky was glowing of of the whiteness of the ground. We walked by the river and heard water running past us to a faraway place. Cold, swirling dark. We walked past a few homes with their lights all shining inside. So cozy in there. We walked down to where the road ends and looked at our own house and I said "Do you like our house too Jack?" "Oh Mommy its the best house ever!" Oh thats because we love each other there. "Oh Mommy I love you with all my heart" Good then lets go home and get cozy snuggly. "OK lets go get Fumfy." He is now asleep and I am in bed wat...