Flaming June's Love

I dont rememebr this from last year, maybe I was still in zone form moving or haze from stress. 5 am is party time at our house. The birds in our neighborhood didnt get the memo that it is still sleepy time. I got up at 4 20 ish on thursday to get NANA to the airport. I got home around 5 30ish, crawled in and curled up next to the big guy and took a deep breath. Two hours of sleep til the boy wakes up so settle down and rest. No the party animals hanging out on the power lines outside the house were just getting started. Now I am NOT COMPLAINING I am making observation and commentary. I am enjoying it, at this point. In a week Im sure not so much. Our windows are open, lots of trees and river life swirling around the house all the time. Chirping, singing, cooing, clucking, lulling and clicking is all very nice, homey, angelic, and very movie inspiring. I also find it charmingly Nerve shattering, hyper counting provoking and dream invasive. I love birds, Ilove birds, i Lov...

I cant tell you what date it was, but I know I wrote it somewhere. "When Jack talks I swear to never begrudge him a word, I am so waiting to hear him say something." Well the BOY is talking. It is official. By eight tonight I was covering my ears. !!! Not truly but He is chatting and talking about things. Events. Observations. All new within the past two weeks I believe. Rolling the ball in the hallway with his new bowling set. "Move Mom I a m rolling the ball, MOOOOVVVE!" Driving in the car tonight, I mentioned the trees to him and he said "The trees in the forest, mommy?" Yes Jack the trees are in the forest. The forest has trees aaayannnd birdies? What a beautiful boy. Last night I told him that in the morning we would blow bubbles in the daytime. First thing this morning he said, "mommy the sun shining , we blow bubbles?" Well sure we can blow bubbles babe. We went for chinese food and he ate like a little machine. "Noodles,...

So much to say and update. I have alot that has happened but I havent had the mojo to write. The stifled, constipated writing hopefully has been jossled loose by new light. Literally. Spring has sprung and I want to feel new. I want a fresh start and encourage fresh thoughts that enter my mind. Allie's thyroid growths were benign and that is truly blessing. Allie received her admission letter from Temple and I again have to prepare my heart for her departure. I can look back to fall of 2007 to revisit the process of letting go but I think this time will be different. She has been my comrade for the past year and a half. My friend. We have had a few issues but usually it is because of attempts to protect the other from situations or hurt feelings. I so want her to be successful and happy and do her thing, but I selfishly dont want her to leave. I have a feeling that if she goes now I wont get her back again. That is what I asked for isnt it? I seem to be getting everyt...

I want to write but I am stifled. Jammed up, constipated, bound and caught. My baby Allie has two nodules on the left side of her thyroid. We have to see a specialist to decide to biopsy, remove, whatever. I am a fighter, I am a survivor. This would kill me. Tims Birthday, yeah what ifs and what was I thinkings. Blue eyes of my babies.