A new light, new day..

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So much to say and update. I have alot that has happened but I havent had the mojo to write. The stifled, constipated writing hopefully has been jossled loose by new light. Literally. Spring has sprung and I want to feel new. I want a fresh start and encourage fresh thoughts that enter my mind.
Allie's thyroid growths were benign and that is truly blessing. Allie received her admission letter from Temple and I again have to prepare my heart for her departure. I can look back to fall of 2007 to revisit the process of letting go but I think this time will be different. She has been my comrade for the past year and a half. My friend. We have had a few issues but usually it is because of attempts to protect the other from situations or hurt feelings. I so want her to be successful and happy and do her thing, but I selfishly dont want her to leave. I have a feeling that if she goes now I wont get her back again. That is what I asked for isnt it? I seem to be getting everything I have asked for, good bad indifferent. I think we are going to take Missi to Philadelphia Saturday for an open house at the Art Institute. That is her dream school and I want nothing more than for these girls to be happy. When I say that I want NOTHING MORE I MEAN NOTHING MORE.
My heart at times feels broken, other times I feel full and bursting at the seams. I am tangling with slick opponents. My own age, my choices, hormonal menopause, preschoolder, college for two. A relatively new marriage. My own demise, mortality.
That is life though isnt it.?

My girls and I used to sing this song loud and strong. In the car, going anywhere, that seems forever ago, but yesterday. Little girls singing of the wonders of Gods creations, well they were the wonder, and remain my wonder.

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