Flaming June's Love

Today was my Dads birthday. No one mentioned it really until tonight when Allie was leaving she stuck her head in my room and said, Happy Birthday Pop. And blew me a kiss and made her signature peace sign. I just spent the last 40 min reviewing the entries I made the past two years on this date. I am better than I was. I still have loss but it is getting better to deal with. I think I am forgetting some things. I am afraid I am forgetting how much I miss him. I dont want to forget... anything. Maybe just more comfortable with the constant discomfort. I explained to a friend it is like having a rock in your shoe, every time you take a step it pinches, you can kick it around in there and move it but it still hurts just in a different spot. Just when you forget you had a rock in your shoe, it hits your right in heel. Fucker that hurts,,, yeah I know. OK so here it is. Dad, Happy Birthday wherever you are. I hope you are hanging with some of your old cronies, maybe some lemon mer...

Picture this... My 19 yr old comes home after being at work and then went oout with her boss whom she loves like a sister. She has fun with her and enjoys her company. That is a good thing. great thing. She is sooooo lucky to have bosses that love her like a family member. More importantly she is learning about grown up life first hand. She has friends in both of them and that is good. Here is the kicker part of tonight. She gets home and she is with her friend. The frind is obviously upst. She confesses that she is upset that she is not at a real college where she can be out all the time and having fun. I said that next year when she goes away she an have all that but she obviously wasnt ready right out of HS. She staed that she knows that and she just wishes she could be having more fun. She then told me that she is worried about going home because her mom wanted her out of the house by 930 tonight so she (the mom ) could have a quiet evening at home without them (the kids...

First is the proverbial train in the tunnel headed your way and what do you do. well not that dramatic... ust the trai in JT that we love to watch. Allies freckles, they certainly dont get enough attention but I think you can all appreciate them with this pic. Missi's blue of bluest eyes. She has so much going on in there and I love all the colors and yellow circle and craziness of the blue babies. And then my boy with his favorite things, his cars on the last beautiful hot day of the year in the yard. Gotta love his collegiate look that day. Did you notice his hair cut? Yeah no more beach bum, now he is mr. Princeton and I will work that look for a while. love to all, I am not suicidal and dont want anyone thinking Im a whacker, just typical Suz you know, reactionary, emotional, and a tad bit overzealous in the drama department. Ill be ok.

I have hit a few times in my head that I could ramble and blog about for hours. I just dont have the passion to start. I have found myself thinking about blogging but cant get the groove to giterdone. A few topics I will be touching on in the near future. 1. My oldest friends that I dont see but think about almost everyday. 2. My feelings of true distaste for Sara Palin. I can almost say that I detest her. 3. My lack of passion, yeah the real thing. I am in love but want not to ... you know do it. 4. I am encouraging my daughter to go away to college in the fall and my feelings of go.... dont go again. 5. Missi is planning her college escape and the issues with her are soo dramatically different. She is gonna be fine and I cant wait for her to go. 6. My ex husbands mother is ill. My mother in law and it is truly eating away at me. My feelings of guilt and lack of contact and my feelings about it all. 7. Jack. Jack.. and more Jack. He is the thought first thing in the mo...