Flaming June's Love

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. 9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth? 10 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it. 11 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God m...

It done. Mom and Dads house is empty. The stuff is %one. The floors are swept and the memories have been stirred so that as we drove away today I could almost still hear them. I took some pics of the place. If these walls and floors could talk. I am attachin% a pic of my Dads chair a tthe breakfast bar. It is stayin% with the house. It belon%s there for the new family. I took a few pics and can still see him sittin% there smokin% and smilin% waitin% for us to visit. The family pics attached are from the memorial posters from his funeral. The pics are irreplaceable and I cant take them. So I pic'd pics. Allie is pickin% a few of the amazin% flowers from the yard. Jonh was there for a few minutes and he cried. We were a family all of us on that street for too few years. I let ^o of his wife my best friend on that street. My husband on that street, my Dad. My %randfather, My %randmother,. All our family apirits charm that street and I now officially have no reason t...

Tomorrow is the be^inin^ of the end of the house at 137. Mom and Dads housr for almost twenty years and now it is %oin% to someone else. I think we will be ok. I have nothin% but %ood memories from the house and I think we are leavin% only the best of karma in the place. I can say that when I think of my Dad one of the first thin%s that pops into my head is him sittin% at the table in the kitchen and when anyone would walk throu%h the front door he would yell. "Hey ALlie look its my %irl." "boy" "buddy" I miss him, miss him badly and know that after this second anniversary next week I have to move on and start to heal. I cant keep this so close to the surface %rief is truly eatin% me up somedays. I plan to %o to therapy even if its only a short time to help me move throu%h this. I owe it to my family. In other news my boy had the pukers the other ni%ht and althou^h I felt terrrible for him I had to lau%h at times. He was tellin% me "UHOH UHOH...

About 14 years a&0 while livin% on the farm there was as ummer day when both of my %irls went down for a nap. They were such %ood ^irls, they would ^o to their room play for a bit and then %o to sleep. I could hear them pretty well and the never %ot into too mucht rouble I recall it bein% a summer day because their air conditioner was on and their room door was shut. I remember bein% in the bedroom in the front of the house when I %ot the sudden whif of basby powder. hmmm funny. five minutes later I smell it a^ain. I looked of the bottle, its not there where it should be on th chan%in% table in the hall. Missi was about two and Allie 4ish. No panic I must have left it somewhere in a rush diaper chan%e. I walk past the %irls room to head down the steps and there it was, the smell of baby powder stron% as ever. OH ^OD WHAT ARE THEY DOIN%!!!!! I opened the door and truly could not find my children in the fo% they had created while emptyin% the lar%e shaker of talc into the a...

A few notes to the MASSES or shall I say thron^S of readers. LOL Yesterday was two years since my Dads admission to the hospital. He was admitted on a I cant remember... Is that a %ood thin%? I cant remember the day of the week. I have found blo^s of parents that have lost children and I read them every ni^ht so I can realize the potential of loss. I feel it but cant fathom their pain. I realize we are lucky we havent had disaster, we have lost a father which is to be expected at this sta^e of our lives. doenst make it better thou^h. My Moms car broke down today and we rented one for her to use for a few weeks until she fi^ures out what she wants to do with the car and then ^o buy another. ANYEWHO we walk into the place of rentals and it is a n absolute disaster area. mess. I Immediately thou^t shady joint and wnated to leave. Then the nicest man came out from behind the desk and immediately I thou^ht what I nice man for my mom. hmmm MOM what? date. He was white haired dre...

This kid makes me laugh,she can piss me off but I would be lost without her. The other kid I just admire for her bravery to be different and softness to be hurt so easily. They both are the world to me. I dont know what would define me all these years if it werent them. It goes without saying that everyday with them is an edventure and I dotn want it any other way.

Today was Joe the nei%hbors %raduation party. As I have mentioned before in recent weeks the relationship of ALlie and Joe is chan^in^. I have voiced the idea that she has avoided the BEIN% with Joe because of the friendship and now that she may be wantin% moe it may be past that for him. SHe and I and my MOm and her friends went to his party today and I really dont know what is %oin% on with them. Allie has finally admitted that she wants to persue somethin% with him, (THAT IS HU$E BY ITSELF) But he had a %irlfriend up until a few days a%o and now she is probaly feelin% the crunch. ALl I can say anymore is that I know what a broken heart feels like. I have had them more than once. I know that when you have your heart set on someone and it doesnt happen or doesnt happent he way you want it to it hurts even more. So the eternal cosmic question? DO you ^0 for the &uy you know you will always love, or do you hold back because you know you cant lose him as a friend? I amhopin% ...