Flaming June's Love

OK herer is the week in a nut shell. Andy had his cath done on Friday and he is fine. No blockages and a healthy heart. Now that is Good in THE REAL WORLD!!!! BUT not here in Suziland. Why ytou may ask well that was something that I was hoping would keep him out of Iraq. Blockages a few bypasses I can handle. Iraq for 18 months I am not feeling!!!! But really I would be able to handle Iraq but I really dont want to. So my huSbands heart is in perfect working order and has a few pounds to lose and heart anyway is great. AWESOME. Allie is now in MEXICO, YUP MEXICO. Her friend Danielle had an extra ticket on her family vacation and her fam asked Allie to come along, Happy... beyond words. MOM jealous, envious and did her best to fit in the bag. Worried not really I dont know why but I feel safe about it. I would have a bad feeling I think. She called this am to let me know they were heading for some awesome coffee then straight to the [pool. They are at a resort so not reall...

For a girl that never took dance lessons I love dancers. I love to dance and watch anykind of dancing and am an admitted SYTYCD addict. I wait all week for it and then cant get myslef away from it. So the big night is tomorrow night when we narrow the tribe down to top 20 and then the competition begins. I am hopefully attaching someof my favs from last year and maybe if I find what I am looking for a little from this year.

I am ok. I guess I am a whiner but everyone is I guess at some point. I am feeling better. Andy and I have some really rough parts. To be expected but put two strong willed and eagerly argumentative people who in the end really love each other there is defianately going to be fireworks. I will end it with that for tonight and hopefully get a chance to write more another night.

I have alot of anger. somewhere somehow I learned to be an asshole. Brother Dave can vouch for my nasty streak. I am definately feeling angry pent up and ready to fight. I take alot and dont always get to give back. I feel misunderstood and taken advantage of alot of the time. I want to fight and beat someone up. I need therapy I need a punching bag or just a dose of new life. My weekend should be enjoyable but it isnt. Too much tension and stress. ahhh forget it... I am just not in good space.

I am good thank you. My boy was an angel today. He was smart and beautiful and I so want to share him with everyone. I have put his app in for montessori school for the fall. I think he will blossom. Missi is counting the days til the end of school. I dont blame her. Allie is doing fine and working hard everyday. Out in the evenings but what else do 18 yr olds do? Andy is away on business and home tomorrow for the weekend. I am just kinda the door holder I feel sometimes. I greet and listen and uhhuh everyone and add my two cents when I feel necessary but I dont feel as though I share too much of my own stuff. I am sure they would listen but does it all really matter? I have classrooms full of students. They are adult learners coming back to school for a career and I am their leader to say. I teach them stuff they thought they could never learn. I am the class they look forward to because I "encourage them and make then feel as thought hey can do it." I dont think the...

Cant explain it, it doesnt mean anything. I so wanted to call my ex today. I needed that almighty validation again. Yeah I so in love with that word lately. Needy? Maybe but I sometimes need that somebody that was there, wherever i am traveling back to I need to reminisce with someone... else. Today was the Memorail days of my past. Memorial weekends of allnighters with lots of beer and laughing til you pee your pants. Family that drives you crazy but you would kill for without a second thought. Most of all nights beside a fire so hot and beautiful, mesmerizing dancing and safe. Music that everyone knew the words too. Stories of out past that seemed unreal. Memories of my grandparents. My Aunts and uncles. My brothers as teens, twenties, thirties. Us as kids, our kids as kids. My mom and dad sitting at the fire holding hands chatting between themselves. Laughing out loud. Crossing the street to check on sleeping babies, or sneak a quickie maybe. Lots and lots of beer. lots and...