Flaming June's Love

Yup it is official, we are the address 501. Andy and I have talked for the past five years about the potential at the address 501 you know what street. He more than I to be honest, but anyway. I have bought more magazines with the idea of the house we were going to build at 501 someday and tonight, yes tonight we are all here and feeling.... love. I will be attaching some photos of the place and might I say in advance there are some things not quite there yet, molding and curtains but I am so in love with this place. Andy and I sat at the kitchen table about two or three years ago and chose the floor plan and I dreamed of the kitchen looking into the family room and now I hope you can share in my joy. I baked a carrot cake this am and enjoyed my kids watching tv and laughing together. We had a wicked ice storm today so We were all home other than ANdy. Andy will be leaving sunday and wont be back until friday so a long week ahead. Love to all and talk to you soon.

Yes I know it has been extremely delayed. I have been distracted and very busy with everything that has been up lately. First and foremeost Andy is fine since his encounter with chest pain the other day. He was fully evaluated and no apparent cardiac issues at the moment. If we could get this house done we could get started on some routine exercise program. I am losing a few pounds here and there I believe from the stress of it all and being so busy all the time so that is good. The house is beautiful BUT and hter is always a BUT it is not quite done yet and I am going to finally sleep there on Sat night. That works out to Tomorrow night. Our new bed arrives tomorrow and ANdy is building the railing that is necesszry for Jack to be there and that will be it. I can wait to wake up inthat new house and with all fo its booboos and unfinsished corners it is ours. I am hoping tha we will have computer access there before too long so that I can start posting real posts again. I am s...

yes thats right I am not feeling the love. I am definately feeling the stress of not having our own place. My husband was in the er yesterday with chest pain from the stress and I am feeling as if I have made huge errors in judgement. I look down the street and the lights are on in my "old" house and I just want to go home. I want my life back. I want my home back. I am not feeling it. not one bit. My gorls are doing their best to be flexible Jack is doing his very best to be a typical two yr old boy and I, I am doing just fuc&*ing great at being disheartened, discouraged, disappointed, deflated, and completely Fucker$R%ed. Good thing are good though, American Idol starts tonight and I can say one thing for sure, I am not going to be one of those buttheads being embarassed tonight. NOTE TO SELF> Next year when AI starts up again I will be in better emotional, physical and spiritual shape.

Lots going on here in my neck of the woods. We are curently living with my Mom. She is truly the most gracious as well as patient woman on the planet. I am currently wanting to slit my own throat because I have inundated her quiet home with 5 of us and the dog. Yup the dog is here too. Our home is not quite there yet and the inspectors are doing their jobs and being pricks and not letting us move in until all the lil shit is done. OK but I hope they realize my om and I will end up cracking before too long under these circumstances. Laundry about the dining room. OH just so much stuff. Nest here is a big one. Allie is not going back to college this ememster. She has signed up for classe at the local college and is staying hon=me for the next few months. She is well and ther is nothingn wrong with her she is just trying to get into a nursing program closer to home and this is how to start . So my baby is back if only for a few months. Missi is going to the semi with a senior boy...

I waited and waited ofr this day to come. Now the day is here and I am sitting here and the day is over and I feel.... different. I feel lonely, sad, defeated, and a failure. I am hoping that it is from my hormones and that this will pass but damn I am having sellers remorse. I tell myself I did this for the family and that it was time to sell the place anyway but shit this is hard. I am staying at my Moms place and Ican see the lights on at MY HOUSE down the street and the fu&^%ers are in my house. I signed it over, Itook a check that doesnt even belong to me and I walked away. I left all my chances of independence on that table today. I am now partnered and attached and unable to get out quick. THis sounds bad I know but I have always always alwyas been a plan B kind of girl. I have no plan B now. I deposited plan B into the joint account to pay for things in the new house. This is fair and how it should be, I am being selfish and negative and extremely critical. I want...

well we did it. I think anyway All of our stuff is moved The furniture that loked so at home in our home now look at home in the new home. I must admit though there is so much work to do in the new house gettting things in place and just so ti will take months I cant tell you how hard it was to move all the stuff. My brother and my children and their boyfriends and the Neighbor boy and his friends did most of the work and I just watched in awe the strength of these people. Andy and I didnt fight at tll and he was exceptionally patient. My Mom of course was the saving grace and watched the boy.

Here it is and I am excited and sad and happy and regretful. all inone. So much to look forward to and obviously so much to leave behind. My girls and all their friends growth chart in my basement. Allies bedroom door and I will attach some of missis stuff from her walls. I am looking around this house and its all in boxes. I am sad. I am happy. Anyplace these PEOPLE go is my home. I rememembr a time when Tim was threatening custody battles for shits and giggles on his part, I told I would live in a refrigerator box with my kids before I let him have them. Well obviously this is not a refrigerator box but the sentiment holds true. I would live anywhere these kids were. So all in all I am good. I am leaving happy swirly memories in the air here. They will whisper every night sleeping angels in all the rooms, sweet dreams and prayers of better days. God heard us here, and I like to think we will carry our charmed life to the new home. Before I sleep tonight I will rememebr my ...