Flaming June's Love

My Immortal lyrics I'm so tired of being here Suppressed by all my childish fears And if you have to leave I wish that you would just leave 'Cause your presence still lingers here And it won't leave me alone These wounds won't seem to heal This pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase [Chorus:] When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have All of me You used to captivate me By your resonating light Now I'm bound by the life you left behind Your face it haunts My once pleasant dreams Your voice it chased away All the sanity in me These wounds won't seem to heal This pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase [Chorus] I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone But though you're still with me I've been alone all along [Chorus]

I am going someplace I shouldnt. I am shaking awake a part of me I thought I laid to rest. There is a concert coming to our local arena/venue. Evanescence, the feeling is so right there I want to go but am so afraid. I had an experience 3 and a half years ago and this music was so a part of my life I truly lived it. Every song from the album/cd just integrated and almost became a part of me for a while. Intense yes, should it be scary no, but it is for me. I made some bad choices, hurt some people, and in turn really really hurt myself. Along with at the same time the preemptive strike that began the whole downward spiral I ended up in. Long story short it was a bad time for me and my ego, self esteem, leading to self destructive behavior. I dont know why I am writing now and why I am compelled to stir the proverbial shitpot, but I knew the day would come that I would need , NEEEEED to come to terms with myself. No blame, no finger pointing, just plain acceptance. That is what I n...

Lie I said Jack was a sick boy for halloween. So on Sunday we got him dressed for the late holiday. He ran around the yard and waited for Nana tog et home from Church. He was so cute and just I cant say how much I love him. He now has a cough that when he breaths he coughs a lil cough. Annoying for him and mind blowing for me. He lil coughed all night, all morning and I anticipate all day today too. Excitement at Daycare, yesterday i picked him up and I knew soemthing was up when my favorite aide approached me with that UHOH smile. She handed me an incident report paper and said well " Jack was playing with another child and the child misunderstood his hugging him as a threat and BIT HIS EAR!!!" FU%$#in kid Ill kill him which one is it. They of course cant tell you which one it was but I encouraged them strongly to keep Jack away from them. This is not because I am overreacting this is because this kid (whoever it is) has done this before I know that because they to...

Five years ago on a Saturday night with my then guyfriend Andy, we would have started the night with a nice dinner, an evening of drinks with friends at a local bar and then good old raucous sex until morning. I remember trying my hardest to get home before my dad would get up for the paper which was usually around 6 30ish. My Mom and Dad would keep the girls overnight usually one night every two weeks so the nights we had all night, yup we had allll night. There was one night when I did fall asleep and woke up and it was light out. OH MY GOD I GOTTA GET HOME. Then it hit me Andy picked me up last night so I gotta get the bear up to drive me home. Double shameful it is 7 in the morning and "that guy" is bringing her home. My dear friend Maryellen that passed away in Jan called me one morning and was teasingly saying "Oh Suzie there was s strange car parked in front of your house all night. I called your Dad and he said he didnt know whos it was so he took a walk down ...

Here is one I wasnt supposed to see but shit it is funny. She was a mardigras bead girl for halloween with her friend danielle.

OK here goes... Heard of sciatica... Yeah well I am the nurse that says oh yeah sounds bad and keeps moving. well it is bad really bad. interferes with every part of your day and night. hurts like a bastard. Something hit me today that it was time for a change. and I got my hair cut. About 6 inches off onto to the floor of the salon. So I am once a gain with the curly short hair. It feels good and i feel alot better. Went out with my best girl today for lunch and hang out time. I forget how much she means to me until I see her again. I truly learned about LOVE when I was with her. Sadly i didnt treat her as well as I should have. But I think I learned what it felt like to be truly loved and I adored her. We spent so much time just talking and listening and listening. I know that our lives are now where they were supposed to be. I also know that anything good that I have gotten in the few years since her was because of her. I love Amy. She got an addition to her tattoo co...

Andy and I laugh all the time about situations that I have been in or gotten myself into and defining them as DIFFERENT. My situations compared to theirs are different because they are ME Example 1 Suzie has an ongoing affair with a man she worked with for about 7 months, I had no intentions of leaving my husband I just wanted to have a little fun and feel something. (The kiss of death really) When my husband after years of my being in and out of our marriage then decides to date someone else and I find out all hell breaks loose and I am ready to literally kill him. WHY you may ask is this so ironic well My cheating was deamed different or acceptable at the time. His infidelity... unforgiveable. Because it was with me how could he do this to me. Selfish self absorbed egomaniac. I realized and came to terms with my bad bad ti...