My Immortal

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I am going someplace I shouldnt. I am shaking awake a part of me I thought I laid to rest.
There is a concert coming to our local arena/venue.
Evanescence, the feeling is so right there I want to go but am so afraid.
I had an experience 3 and a half years ago and this music was so a part of my life I truly lived it. Every song from the album/cd just integrated and almost became a part of me for a while.
Intense yes, should it be scary no, but it is for me.
I made some bad choices, hurt some people, and in turn really really hurt myself. Along with at the same time the preemptive strike that began the whole downward spiral I ended up in.
Long story short it was a bad time for me and my ego, self esteem, leading to self destructive behavior.
I dont know why I am writing now and why I am compelled to stir the proverbial shitpot, but I knew the day would come that I would need , NEEEEED to come to terms with myself.
No blame, no finger pointing, just plain acceptance. That is what I need to do now, Accept.

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