Flaming June's Love

I know I have posted this pic before but it is my favorite. My Fathers hand on Moms shoulder is just so them. Mothers Day, or Fathers day is just not the same. I am missing who we were. I miss who I was. I always felt safe. I knoow how rediculous it is for a 40 yo woman to feel safe because her dad is still alive but that is who we were. I have fears now. I didnt realize before. Who are we without him? I am feeling this today and not a good Mothers day candidate. My husband and Jack. This is an older pic but I love Jacks hand on Andys. See it? And then there is my three. an older pic but it never loses its appeal. Jack maybe 11 months the girls just loving him up. Me just so proud to be associated with any of these three people.

The pic is shitty I know but so much is said in this. The man in the brown pants my Dad. the curly headed kid with dusty maryjanes- Me. The flash in the center my lask of photo copying abilities. Anyway i havent talked about my Dad lately. My online friend Dayngr lost her mom 4 weeks ago. I read her words and it reminds me of the fresh loss mode. I am in the 9 month mode. OK start over. The pic is he and I at the summer house and he throwing a ball to me. I am the fourth of four children. I am maybe 2. Dad is 26. Yup father of four at 26. Hardworking family man husband the whole deal. 1968. I miss him everyday. More somedays than others. Males who dont behave as men. A big one. I want my Dad back. My friend Dayngr put it perfectly if you dont have something good you dont miss it. This is a good Man in this pic. I am rambling because I feel her pain and I am feeling my loss all over again.

My busy boy peeling the labels off of daddys cd collection uhoh. Remember when you were a young young girl and the older boy on the block was the hottest coolest thing? Well the one to allies left is the boy of her childhood dreams. 5 years older than her and a plumber in town. He is adorable but not the boy of her dreams anymore. He is the man that lives down the street that is cute. He told her to scrunch down because she is taller than him, hmmm theres a sign. LOL Allie and the real man in her life. Jack

this was allies last day of High School. She has exams next week but the last uniform with your sister day. I am sad because I know how much her life is going to change, and know how much I will miss her. I am excited for her and all the great things coming her way. These two girls of mine were on the porch eating pretzels and onion dip and we laughed like dorks. My best bud Maryellen who died in Jan this is her little girl the same age as Allie and her best friend since forever. Going to her prom tonight. Her mom was not there in person but I so hope and pray maryellen got to see her baby looking so gorgeous. Jackire has natural red hair and she is just so pretty but a tough cookie. She will tell anyone how it is and then repeat it if necessary. I love her.

OK So I wanted to pu thim up three times cuz he so cute.

Picture this a bowl of raspberry icecream in it yes chips of chocolate and swirls of fudge. Inside the chips of chocolate is raspberry stuff, jelly, juuice, cream I dont know nor do I care cuz when I die of my massive heartattack and they cut me open a gas cloud smelling of raspberries is going to eminate from my open chest. There will be chips of chocolate inside my arteries and the raspberry jelly shit will line be inside my aorta. Andy comes home tonight. His flight lands around 11. I anticipate a long night when he gets in cuz ANDY NEEDS LOVING . Two whole days and ugghh man need wife. (caveman sounding ugghh) I am far too willing to oblige. He leaves tomorrow for NY state and will be back Sat night. Sunday he is away again to a class he is teaching. I am the most single married woman on the block. The house is really starting to look like a house. I brought the guys a pizza today. They were very happy. The cieling to the first floor is almost up so that means the floo...

There was a time in my life when I was just a thrill junkie. I realize now that I married too young and to the wrong guy. Oh well. Anyway. I met a really great guy when I was already married about 7-8 years. Chance meeting. We met at work and really as soon as I saw him I thought MINE MINE MINE!!!! A friendship with the sexual tension that just perculated. I was 27 he was 15 years older than I. I just thought he was the most beautiful thing I ever saw. Bald, moustache, green eyes. Big muscles. He was divorced with a daughter the same age as my own. We would talk on the nights that we worked. I would dress for him and do my hair ont he nights he was there. About three months into this "thing" I had to leave the job. We were moving to PA. We - my husband and my two children and me. For the best... I thought before this got too serious. We said our goodbyes and never touched one another. I do know that we- or I- said if I still feel the same 6 months from no...