Flaming June's Love

She appears to be looking at me- she knows everything and says its ok. Do the best you can and everything will be alright. This is a photo of a stained glass window. I found it obscurely and love her. She might be a little sad but that is her. all is well.

I guess I should know my life is pretty good if my blog entry is about my sons runny nose. Ho woke up yesterday with the rosy cheeks of sickness. If you have a child with the telltale just "slapped cheeks with fever" you know how pitiful they look. Runny nose red cheeks, cough, and just miserable attitude. I attempt to approach the boy with a tissue for the river of snot on his upper lip, he grabs what he is doing and goes the other way, running in his 15 month old way! Of course he is voicing his distaste for anything tissuelike approaching anywhere near his face by verbalizing his fathers familiar gggrrrrrrr.. Currently he is watching Sesame drinking a bottle of water and pretty content. Andy is in NYC this week and working hard. He is considering changing his job to something so he wont be away so often. We are in process of rearranging some money inorder to buy a home and I am concerned that a change will affect our loan possibilities. Anyway Andy has always bee...

Im not in the mood tonight. For writing, talking, laughing, sex, and most of all Christmas. Music everywhere. Ill be home for Christmas. hmmmm I dont think so.

I have a date tonight!!!! Yup I am meeting with my Mom and cousins and Aunt for a night of poker with the girls. We did this about a month ago and we were all so happy to spend some time together that we were out til after 1 am. I enjoy all of their company and we inherently laugh most of the night reminiscing. Isnt it intersting how the family that is in another generration nopw dont seem to be that much older we all go together after a certain point. I think it is 40. yup that is the turning point. I am playing cards tonight with my aunt who is in her 80's and then all the way down to me. with 12 in between. It sounds corny but I enjoythem. I am now begining the christmas stuff. I mentioned the outside christmas lights to Andy and he got them out for me. I usually cant wait to get them up but I am a little slow this year but have resigned myself to the "fake it til you make it" theory. Fake being jolly, merry and filled with yule (whatever that is) until I rea...

I am thankful: I have been loved by someone everysingle minute of my life. I came to that conclusion today. I was feeling sorry for myself and sad for what I am missing or moreso who I am missing. I then began trying to "count my blessings" I have been loved every second of my life. I may not have been lovable but as a parent I KNOW I have been loved by my parents. I have loved my siblings everysecond of my life. As have they me. My kids have loved me though they may not know it right now! My husbands yes both of them have loved me. they always will. I can think of three friends that I could ask right now if they LOVE me they would say yes. Now I know that I have been in Love with people or loved qualities about them, but to truly love someone else never goes away. Did I fall out of love with Tim, my first husband, NO it just changed. I will always love him. Look at what we did together!!!!! these two girls that have the world at their fingertips because of their bra...

OK My best friend went to the "card lady" last night. You know the lady that has you shuffle the cards and choose one then tells you something good bad and indifferent about your past present and future! OK I believe in it when I like what she says, and phooey the whole thing when she isnt quite on the button. I choose to believe this time. Amy brought the tape over to myhouse so Icould hear what the woman had to say. She mentioned her (amy's) friend that has a irthday in June, Me and probably two others. Anyway the one who lost their father recently (Thats me!!!!) He is sad he cant comfort me but is waiting until I am stronger to visit (visit) with me. I may smell him in the meantime in the house or out soometime, just to let me know he is watching and he is fine. He remarked (yes he remarked!) that I was the apple of his eye and realizes I am hurting but I have to go through this. Interestingly I found some comfort in these messages. I think anything is comf...