2021...?How did we get here???

-

So here we are in a year that sounds very "Futuristic and twilight zone'  2021

What happen to the 19's????

When I think back, which is something I've been doing a lot of lately, I find myself wondering "when did that happen?"  

1984- June graduate HS

1984- Sept met Tim

1987- graduate Nursing school

1988- June 11 (post script never get married on your birthday, you may get divorced and it will always be a shitty feeling.)Married Tim

1989- July 27- Had our Allison Elizabeth.  She was a nightmare baby... Didnt sleep, puked excessively didnt nurse well.  It was about 20 years later that I realized I had Post Partum depression with that one.  I remember looking at her while she screamed from 5-9 every night and thinking "What did I do and how can I end this?"   I never planned to KILL HER just LOSE HER.  

I would say she was about 1 when she and I started to get along.  LOL  We have been good since then LOL  LOL  It was also around this time that I also realized... marriage wasnt for me either.  

Yeah yeah... I was young blah blah blah.  But I was so lonely being married to Tim.  

November 20 1991- Melissa Sarah  She was the easiest baby once I got her home.  She was a preemie.  She would not have been a preemie but my OB was going on vacation and didnt want me to go into labor without him so he scheduled her c section a MONTH EARLY  She was due Dec 4th.  SO no wonder she was so tiny and didnt have breathing down quite yet.  But once we got her home she was the easiest.  She slept when you put her down, she smiled and laughed.  She ate well.  Easy Peasy this Mom thing.

 1993- We moved to the farm.  Chester NJ-  If I wasnt lonely before I was even more lonely now.

1995- Moved to Wilkes Barre, PA- Allie was a first grader and Missi was a preschooler.

Allie had Sister Josepha for first grade at St Peter and Paul.  SHe would throw up every morning from anxiety and hated everyday.  Missi went to preschool where she and her BFF Lauren would fight and then play fight and then play.  They would get in trouble together, lose priviledges, get punishments, but they didnt seem to care too much.  Their prek teacher wasnt fond of their disruptive behavior.  As evidenced by the daily notes and calls.  The good news was they had her again for first grade when she moved to teach a higher grade level.. Disaster repeat.  

1997 We bought the house at the end of the street.  We moved from the family homestead at 135 Gardner to 102 Gardner.  My MOM and Dad were at 137, Aunt Cathy at 133, John and MaryEllen were 127.  It was a magical time.  I look back now and think that.

2000  Tim had a bottle of champagne that was all decorated with stickers and ribbons and fancy writing allover it.  We opened it together on New Years eve.  I asked him who did this to the bottle its so cute?

A friend of his at the PO did it for him to open at midnight.  ( Yeah that was weird.)

Sept 11 2001- Airplanes crashed, people died, Tim left for good.

This is where I'll stop because my life thus far has three distinctive parts.  This is the end of Part 1.

Part 2 is really exiting, I promise so stick around!!!



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Kiss

-
Image
  It has been 75 days. When I went to bed at night I would cry, every night.  My Mom would begin the process of "bedtime" at least 30 minutes before I actually had to go to my room.  She would give me the countdown. "Next commercial break"  "Ten more minutes"  "Go get your last drink of water" Some nights she would begin to doze and I would squeeze another 10 minutes until the dreaded bed time. Then began the process.  We would go to my room, which was only 12 feet from the living room in all actuality, but it was miles in my little girl heart.  Mom would pull down the covers, tuck me in, give me all of my comfort things and then I would cry.  The more she tried to make me comfortable with the thought of sleeping, alone, the harder I would cry.  If she would just say go to bed, it would have been easier. We would say my prayers together, Our Father, Hail Mary and then all of the God Bless's. The God Blesses were my definite way to get her to ...
Read more

Ayla

-
Image
 When I was in High School my best friend was Amy.  I don't remember how we met or where, but somehow we just clicked.  I believe it was probably on the patio where in the 1980's you could go outside and smoke cigarettes with your friends on free mods or breaks.  Yep those were the days.   We were in 10th grade which made us 15.  I smoked Parliament light 100's  with the recessed filters (IYKYK) and she smoked Benson and Hedges.  She was a cheerleader that was so far from the "cheerleader" type it would crack us up.  We wrote notes in those days, scraps of paper that we would purge our daily trials onto, fold in some triangular football shape and pass to one another in the hall.  We could fill a note throughout the day and then I would throw it into a box for the ages to find someday.  We were able to talk endlessly about music, people, boyfriends, animals, school, college, parents, divorce, siblings, hours of chat.  We al...
Read more

No, not that.

-
Image
 Lets talk about graduation parties!  Should I order the chicken scampi or marsala for the chicken dish?  Cakes and cupcakes or cookies?  DJ or photo booth or both? So we decorate the cake with Wyoming Seminary as a graduate or Penn State as his college destination? No, we wont talk about that.  You know, the "drophimoffandleavehimtherepart" or the "Ihaveabsolutelynopurposewithouthiminmydailygrind" lets not forget "Whenyoufoughttoliveforthisboyandnowheisgoingwhylive?" OK OK I'm not going to end my life because Jack is leaving for college, but for christs sake what the fuck is my purpose now?  I am struggling, struggling with so many things right now. I know my struggle on paper is nothing compared to so many other people.  My weight, my hair, my boy, my heart, my future.  I want to just get to the point where I can just take him and drop him off.  Rush through this summer and get it over with, pull off the bandaid quick and start the new chap...
Read more