The best I can do.
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| For Terry |
I have known Sandy for 15 years. When we met we were both instructors at a little school in Edwardsville. She was divorced and had a young son. He was about 15 when we met. Handsome, tall, and had two different color eyes. One was a crazy green the other blue.I remember he would come into school when he reached his late teens and visit his Mom, she would show him off, and he loved it. He obviously adored his Mom.
He was charming. For a young man he could talk to anyone, had a contagious smile and could make you feel comfortable.
He joined the marines right out of HS. Spent a few years in the Corp and then returned home and got in the Union as a pipe fitter. We crossed paths again when he began dating one of my good friends. He was now in his early twenties and we actually went out all together a few times. Now he was grown up and I found out just what a super guy he was.
He loved the ladies, thats for sure. They LOVED TERRY.
My friend tried to get him to settle down, but that was not in the cards for him at the time. He was full of life and not ready to put away that lady killer style.
They broke up and my friend was heart broken for a long long time. The last time I saw her a few years ago we talked about him.
Terry was killed in a freak car accident Sept 15 2001. 4 days after 9/11.
Sandy and I were not working together at the time. I had moved to a new school and she had as well.
Fast forward to my cousin Mandys wedding in 2005.
I hadnt seen Sandy since the funeral. I was a little anxious since I felt I should have done more.
Her husband is a minister and married Mandy and Steve.
I saw Sandy and hugged her warmly, not wnating to appear saddened by our last meeting.
She greeted me and looked me in the eyes. and asked me.
Did you die when you had your heart attack?
Uhh, well.
Having never discussed my experiences with anyone in my family in any detail, other than Ann Marie, I reluctantly said.
Yes.
She threw her arms around me, hugged me and said
You have to tell me everything, every last detail.
I need to know my Terry is alright.
She had tears in her eyes. So did I.
My parents, both Mom and Dad just looked at me.
Discussing a near death experience was not a topic we covered during my recovery period.
This was December of 2005, just four months since my heart attack and Jacks birth.
I still hadnt recovered my vocal cords since they were injured during the intubation, so I spoke in whisper voice.
We sat down in a quiet spot, and I told her everything I remembered.
She asked questions, and I answered as well as I could.
She told me she thought he was with her every so often.
Her main question was whether he would still know his name in heaven?
WHen she gets there will he know her?
I told her from what I experienced the family that approached me, knew me, I knew them and there was no time for recognition or reacquaintance, we were exactly where we left off. So I did believe he knew his name and would be Terry still when she saw him again.
She had tears in he eyes and we went back to the wedding.
I recall now it was our first go out since we got Jack home. My first go out.
I bought a new dress at Talbotts for the event, I was sure to buy a dress that covered my scar for I was still so new at being BROKEN. I hated the big red scar down my chest.
I was able to sit and chat whisper.
Now I start at MCannn 18 months ago.
I am the lead Medical instructor.
As our population grew, so did the need for medical instructors.
Sandy was hired to work along side me.
We have spent a lot of time together these past few months.
Chatting about everything, life, work, husbands, gardens.
And Terry.
He was Sandys only child, she has no brothers or sisters and her parents and cousins are all dead.
She is truly alone, other than her husband Tom.
AND ME.
I love her like a sister. I hurt for her, and would hurt with her even all these 12 years later, but I cant even begin to imagine the emptiness she has.
Her faith has gotten her this far.
She does not visit Terrys grave.
She plants daffodils for all of his anniversaries. Birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Her birthday and his anniversary. Which was today.
She explained to me that she plants bulbs wherever he was. In his yard, on her farm, in the woods, at the hunting cabin and even wild places. hundreds of bulbs she plants a year. In the spring her whole yard is covered in them, everywhere.
As she explained this process to me, of planting hundreds of bulbs over the past 12 years she has no one to continue after she crosses over. There will be no one to remember her Terry, I told her I would remember for as long as I am alive. I will plant daffodil bulbs wherever, so Terry can be everywhere, to be alive.
So today, after soccer all day, I planted the bulbs by the light of Andys headlights in our front wall garden.
dug those bulbs in deep and covered them up,and said Ill see you in the spring.
See you Terry.
Its the best I can do for my friend.
Her broken heart. I wont forget him, or her.
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