Moving target.
Remember last week one day I explained and lamented about the decision making concerning starting Jack on a stimulant medication for control of his ADHD symptoms?
I made the decision to start him on a medication named Concerta. After a long struggle with that decisonI turned it over to God to let this work for him.
He began on the Thursday before our trip to Vermont.
By Saturday, I knew it wasnt going to work.
He displayed old behaviors we hadn't seen in years.
He was explosively angry, unreasonable, and easily frightened.
He is usally adventurous, he was afraid a Fox may show up while on a walk outside outside our little cabin. Afraid to put his feet down on the grass?
I knew these were not good signs.
Little did I know it could and would get worse within a week.
He returned to school on Monday and all hell has broken loose.
He has been explosive, yelling at teachers?? angry at friends, and so argumentative it is frightening.
I stopped the medication after exactly one week.
Now here is my current problem.
He is still displaying these side effects after 4 days of being OFF the medication.
He has been UNBEARABLE at school for almost two weeks now.
Notes coming home stating these behaviors and his inabilty to control himself.
I am so afraid he will be thrown out of school should he become REALLY aggressive.
He is now being punished for 4 days without tv, ds, or computer time.
No soccer practice on Tuesday and afternoons in his room.
How do I keep going with this boy?
How do I give up?
Why doesn't he understand when I explain to him over and over and over again the things you CAN NOT DO IN SCHOOL!
He fell asleep at 7 this evening. I watched him sleep and felt my heart just weep.
Why is this happening to him,? Why?
Where is the answer I need and have been thinking and praying and researching for years now?
He was having good days at school. Not great but good.
Now we are in a state where we were years ago.
Please God, give me courage, to help my boy when he can't help himself.
I want to just KNOW he will be ok, and I can keep pushing forward.
I called the prescribing Dr and they said "oh yeah this happens sometimes, some kids just cant take it."
"Dont give it to him anymore."
NO SHIT.
I feel really alone in this venture to raise this boy, no matter how much Andy WANTS to help, he can't be the Mom. He can go to work, read a book, take a nap, cut the grass. And just forget.
I CANNOT.
I sleep, eat, breath, work, blog, cook,...... JACK.
I have been neglectful of my daughters needs I think being consumed by the boy.
Maybe thats whats wrong with him, maybe I love him and try too much?
I watch people drop off their children at school and walk away. Chatting with friends, talkin on the phone, going to work.
Knowing their children are well taken care of, and going on their way.
I walk away with a sick feeling in my stomach afraid of what will happen today?
I can only hope that these effects will soon wear off and we will get our OLD JACK BACK.
I love this boy and want so desperately to protect him.
Always thinking, Always watching, Always watching.
It will get better, it will wear off.
He will be alright, I will be alright.
Keep swimming, swimming, swimming.
Love to all.
I made the decision to start him on a medication named Concerta. After a long struggle with that decisonI turned it over to God to let this work for him.
He began on the Thursday before our trip to Vermont.
By Saturday, I knew it wasnt going to work.
He displayed old behaviors we hadn't seen in years.
He was explosively angry, unreasonable, and easily frightened.
He is usally adventurous, he was afraid a Fox may show up while on a walk outside outside our little cabin. Afraid to put his feet down on the grass?
I knew these were not good signs.
Little did I know it could and would get worse within a week.
He returned to school on Monday and all hell has broken loose.
He has been explosive, yelling at teachers?? angry at friends, and so argumentative it is frightening.
I stopped the medication after exactly one week.
Now here is my current problem.
He is still displaying these side effects after 4 days of being OFF the medication.
He has been UNBEARABLE at school for almost two weeks now.
Notes coming home stating these behaviors and his inabilty to control himself.
I am so afraid he will be thrown out of school should he become REALLY aggressive.
He is now being punished for 4 days without tv, ds, or computer time.
No soccer practice on Tuesday and afternoons in his room.
How do I keep going with this boy?
How do I give up?
Why doesn't he understand when I explain to him over and over and over again the things you CAN NOT DO IN SCHOOL!
He fell asleep at 7 this evening. I watched him sleep and felt my heart just weep.
Why is this happening to him,? Why?
Where is the answer I need and have been thinking and praying and researching for years now?
He was having good days at school. Not great but good.
Now we are in a state where we were years ago.
Please God, give me courage, to help my boy when he can't help himself.
I want to just KNOW he will be ok, and I can keep pushing forward.
I called the prescribing Dr and they said "oh yeah this happens sometimes, some kids just cant take it."
"Dont give it to him anymore."
NO SHIT.
I feel really alone in this venture to raise this boy, no matter how much Andy WANTS to help, he can't be the Mom. He can go to work, read a book, take a nap, cut the grass. And just forget.
I CANNOT.
I sleep, eat, breath, work, blog, cook,...... JACK.
I have been neglectful of my daughters needs I think being consumed by the boy.
Maybe thats whats wrong with him, maybe I love him and try too much?
I watch people drop off their children at school and walk away. Chatting with friends, talkin on the phone, going to work.
Knowing their children are well taken care of, and going on their way.
I walk away with a sick feeling in my stomach afraid of what will happen today?
I can only hope that these effects will soon wear off and we will get our OLD JACK BACK.
I love this boy and want so desperately to protect him.
Always thinking, Always watching, Always watching.
It will get better, it will wear off.
He will be alright, I will be alright.
Keep swimming, swimming, swimming.
Love to all.
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