Hmmmmm.... Go away.
Really? Oh How interesting... Well, Isn't that exciting! You have GOT to be kidding?!
I took Jack to a swimming party last Friday night, which was for one of his classmates. It was a lovely party at the YMCA. Swimming, cake, pizza, a few party games. He really loved it.
Me... well, you know.
"Blah blah blah, yuckity yuck, buzz click, yadday yadday yadday."
Let me make a few things clear though, the Moms and Dads I met were very nice people. I actually enjoyed their company. We chatted about Birthday cake, t-ball and swimming lessons. All very nice. Marvelous.
The issue for me is though...
I am the parent with the child in the class who has a TSS worker.
I am the parent with the special needs kid.
I am on constant lookout for any sign of judgement. I am running at a 7 at all times on the "mamabear" scale. I am also the Mom that has been around the block a few times here. I've been doing the Mommy thing since most of you moms were in Middle school. I have been on the other side of the fence gang, I told my daughters to stay away from the boy that yelled too loud, or cried a lot, was demanding and had temper tantrums. I thought I was doing the right thing for them. They were told to never be mean or hurtful, but also don't get too close.
"Well ladies and gentlemen, please bring your attention to the center ring of the big top where we get to watch Suzie EAT HER WORDS!"
I am sad that I judged other children without getting to know them. or their parents. I was to busy doing my best.
So where does this lead to.. I am Jacks Mom. That is my job right now, and I think it may be my job for a long time. He is misunderstood, misread, and often hard to take.
He doesn't follow "normal" social cues. He doesn't know when someone may be hurt, embarrassed, or angered by his words. He does want to be friends with everyone, but has a hard time being social. He repeats alot of things, he doesnt know people names. He wants things done a certain way. He is eager and will often "corral" other children to play a game or a certain toy with him.
What to do with this situation? I hav to remind him HOW to ask someone to play, I have to remind him WHAT is appropriate to say and do at certain times.
He asked a woman the otehr day why she had a bandaid on her face. Out of nowhere a total stranger. She was not offended but there may come a day where Jacks lack of boundaries isnt so CUTE anymore.
I am trying.
Truly I am.
We have T-ball tonight. I am dreading it. I know he will want to catch EVERY ball, and swing the bat longer than the other children. This will lead to WHO knows what.
Why do I sign him up for this stuff? Hope.
I Hope and Pray for the day when Jack can be just like the other kids. Just Jack.
Not a the super student, or athlete, or BMOC. I just want normal, happy predictable loveable Jack.
I had a Dr tell me a few weeks ...
"Jack will someday be able to live independently."
He seemed happy with that announcement.
Really you F-head. I had thoughts of him going to college, getting married someday and having his own children. Marry a woman that LOVES him for the quirky Jack he is.
Play sports in high school, play a musical instrument, ride his bike up and down the street too fast. Play with the boys in the neighborhood, build tree houses.
Have a paper route, play with his dog, cut the grass, get into some trouble, but not too much trouble.
I dreamed of the "normal" boy.
How cant this be? Is he really disabled? DISABLED?
I don't know that, really truly KNOW that to my core. I do know he is different from other kids his age. I do know I have to watch him constantly so he doesnt do something totally unpredictable. He is hard to understand and doesn't communicate as well as expected. He doesn;t answer questions appropriately. He is socially boundless. He isnt afraid of strangers, or concerned about what people may "THINK" of him.
He doesnt treat adults different form other children, although we have taught him, over and over again to treat adults with respect he doesnt get it.
OK so I put it out there for all to see.
I do think about his future, I do know it only gets harder from here. I think about him not having friends. I realize he is hard to handle and understand.
But be careful.....
I am the only one allowed to say these things.
I am his Mamabear and will tear your eyes out if you tell me he is disabled and I can only look forward to him "LIVING INDEPENDENTLY" Really?
REally?
REALLY?
Step back Fu%^$er-or your teeth will be your lunch, my boy is going to be the most awesome JACK you would be lucky to know.
He will be just fine, really, I promise.
As I cry.
Love to all.
I took Jack to a swimming party last Friday night, which was for one of his classmates. It was a lovely party at the YMCA. Swimming, cake, pizza, a few party games. He really loved it.
Me... well, you know.
"Blah blah blah, yuckity yuck, buzz click, yadday yadday yadday."
Let me make a few things clear though, the Moms and Dads I met were very nice people. I actually enjoyed their company. We chatted about Birthday cake, t-ball and swimming lessons. All very nice. Marvelous.
The issue for me is though...
I am the parent with the child in the class who has a TSS worker.
I am the parent with the special needs kid.
I am on constant lookout for any sign of judgement. I am running at a 7 at all times on the "mamabear" scale. I am also the Mom that has been around the block a few times here. I've been doing the Mommy thing since most of you moms were in Middle school. I have been on the other side of the fence gang, I told my daughters to stay away from the boy that yelled too loud, or cried a lot, was demanding and had temper tantrums. I thought I was doing the right thing for them. They were told to never be mean or hurtful, but also don't get too close.
"Well ladies and gentlemen, please bring your attention to the center ring of the big top where we get to watch Suzie EAT HER WORDS!"
I am sad that I judged other children without getting to know them. or their parents. I was to busy doing my best.
So where does this lead to.. I am Jacks Mom. That is my job right now, and I think it may be my job for a long time. He is misunderstood, misread, and often hard to take.
He doesn't follow "normal" social cues. He doesn't know when someone may be hurt, embarrassed, or angered by his words. He does want to be friends with everyone, but has a hard time being social. He repeats alot of things, he doesnt know people names. He wants things done a certain way. He is eager and will often "corral" other children to play a game or a certain toy with him.
What to do with this situation? I hav to remind him HOW to ask someone to play, I have to remind him WHAT is appropriate to say and do at certain times.
He asked a woman the otehr day why she had a bandaid on her face. Out of nowhere a total stranger. She was not offended but there may come a day where Jacks lack of boundaries isnt so CUTE anymore.
I am trying.
Truly I am.
We have T-ball tonight. I am dreading it. I know he will want to catch EVERY ball, and swing the bat longer than the other children. This will lead to WHO knows what.
Why do I sign him up for this stuff? Hope.
I Hope and Pray for the day when Jack can be just like the other kids. Just Jack.
Not a the super student, or athlete, or BMOC. I just want normal, happy predictable loveable Jack.
I had a Dr tell me a few weeks ...
"Jack will someday be able to live independently."
He seemed happy with that announcement.
Really you F-head. I had thoughts of him going to college, getting married someday and having his own children. Marry a woman that LOVES him for the quirky Jack he is.
Play sports in high school, play a musical instrument, ride his bike up and down the street too fast. Play with the boys in the neighborhood, build tree houses.
Have a paper route, play with his dog, cut the grass, get into some trouble, but not too much trouble.
I dreamed of the "normal" boy.
How cant this be? Is he really disabled? DISABLED?
I don't know that, really truly KNOW that to my core. I do know he is different from other kids his age. I do know I have to watch him constantly so he doesnt do something totally unpredictable. He is hard to understand and doesn't communicate as well as expected. He doesn;t answer questions appropriately. He is socially boundless. He isnt afraid of strangers, or concerned about what people may "THINK" of him.
He doesnt treat adults different form other children, although we have taught him, over and over again to treat adults with respect he doesnt get it.
OK so I put it out there for all to see.
I do think about his future, I do know it only gets harder from here. I think about him not having friends. I realize he is hard to handle and understand.
But be careful.....
I am the only one allowed to say these things.
I am his Mamabear and will tear your eyes out if you tell me he is disabled and I can only look forward to him "LIVING INDEPENDENTLY" Really?
REally?
REALLY?
Step back Fu%^$er-or your teeth will be your lunch, my boy is going to be the most awesome JACK you would be lucky to know.
He will be just fine, really, I promise.
As I cry.
Love to all.
Comments
Carolyn