Sticky Note.

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I finally met up with my health coach jenny on Friday.  How is my health coming?  I dont think its any different to be honest.  I know what and when and how I am supposed to eat.  But no one else is putting the food into my mouth other than me.  I am the cook, the purchaser, the grocery store soldier.  So my choice to eat fruit bars versus a peach, plum or pear is just that... my choice.
Leading to my choice on a daily basis to add to my chance to live longer.  I see the food choices I make as a direct relationship to my early demise.
The particular foods I choose will be my end. 
I will be standing at the precupice of death holding a bag of cheez doodles with a plastic bag containing styrofoam boxes of leftovers from my last dinner/lunch/snack out.
As I eat these poor choices I am usually thinking about how and why I deserve these things.
Then of course I think about how I am going to stop eating this "bad" thing early.
Followed by the standard, "that's it, I wont eat this shit ever again."

If food was the only discussion jenny and I had then we would have pretty one sided things to talk about.  She would suggest greens and I would say ok.
Jenny says brown rice and collard greens, I say mac and cheese with canned peas.

The best thing is that jenny and I are working.
I am getting something, and definitely somewhere.  The question is where will I end up?

Sticky note of life....
Just when you think you can put the bad shit behind you, it shows back up and is uglier than you remembered. 
Sticky note bad thing... it is a short sweet reminder of some time, place, person, decision that seems to just pop up when you least expect it.  It may be small.... but packs a punch.
Sticky note good thing,.. it can be pulled off of today and moved ahead to another date.  An unknown day when you least expect it.  If you were able to put sticky note detail past you today, you will survive the sticky note again the next time.
I have made my amends to the people I have hurt in my life.  I have apologized with sincerity and humility.  Why is it that some things just never go away?  Love you all.




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