What can I say?
I haven't written in a while, I have alot to say, but where to begin?
In order to keep this record of my life accurate I should just spill it all out. Then again, I can write what I want.
Ill just start... and see whee we go.
I went to the flower show in Philadelphia with my dear friend Joann. We chatted, and enjoyed the nice weather and looked at flowers. It was good to get away, but good to get on home again.
Took Jack for a long walk yesterday to the river and around the cemetery. He listened to me, we walked a long way.
He talked about what he saw, asked questions, observations, read the letters on the way and was truly a pleasure to be with.
I am going to be honest here, maybe too honest.
This is one of the first times that I can say we had an uneventful outing.
I totally enjoyed him, the entire time.
Dont take it wrong I ALWAYS LOVE HIM>
What can I say?
Just dont always have all the patience or understanding to make an event enjoyable.
He is making such great improvements and strides, I am very very encouraged.
My Sister in Law Julie's father passed away last week.
It was a shock to her family, since he was not notably sick.
I have obviously struggled with the death of my own father, This blog was an attempt at venting my sadness, confusion, guilt.
Although I havent seen Julie in over 2 years, I feel her pain as if it were my own all over again.
Her loss is my loss all over again.
I called my brothers phone in an attempt to have him buffer my emotions.
I couldnt help myself.
What can I say?
I cried, like an idiot.
I wanted to be strong and a comfort to my niece, I was none of those things. I was sucked right back to August 2006. Im sorry for that.
I finally got to talk to Julie about a week after the loss and I still couldn't really be anything good for her. My heart was in it but my emotions take over every time.
Julie answered the phone and I said, "Julie?"
she said "suzie?"
"Julie"?
"Suzie"?
we both laughed.
Then I said....
Im going to talk fast and tell you im sorry and im here for you if i could make it better i would and i have to stop now because im going to start crying and be a n=blubbering idiot i love you very much.
Then I cried while she told me it was ok and she loved me too and we will all be alright.
Our Dads were somewhere better, waiting to see us again.
They were seeing their fathers that they hardly knew and preparing a great place for all of us again.
I cried.
and cried.
As I do now.
She is just in the beginning. It doesn't get better, they don't get farther away, just harder to recall. I cant tell her that, she will have to find that out herself.
It is hard.
Now all the women in our family have lost their Daddy's.
We were all Daddy's girls and we share that loss.
What can I say? I cant say anything to make it better, I cant even share much that will ease her pain.
Anymore than I lover her, I feel your pain.
Danny is still in the desert, in the sand, and walking, talking breathing.
Thank you God.
Thank you God.
Thank YOU GOD.
What else can I say?
Keep him safe and bring him home.
In order to keep this record of my life accurate I should just spill it all out. Then again, I can write what I want.
Ill just start... and see whee we go.
I went to the flower show in Philadelphia with my dear friend Joann. We chatted, and enjoyed the nice weather and looked at flowers. It was good to get away, but good to get on home again.
Took Jack for a long walk yesterday to the river and around the cemetery. He listened to me, we walked a long way.
He talked about what he saw, asked questions, observations, read the letters on the way and was truly a pleasure to be with.
I am going to be honest here, maybe too honest.
This is one of the first times that I can say we had an uneventful outing.
I totally enjoyed him, the entire time.
Dont take it wrong I ALWAYS LOVE HIM>
What can I say?
Just dont always have all the patience or understanding to make an event enjoyable.
He is making such great improvements and strides, I am very very encouraged.
My Sister in Law Julie's father passed away last week.
It was a shock to her family, since he was not notably sick.
I have obviously struggled with the death of my own father, This blog was an attempt at venting my sadness, confusion, guilt.
Although I havent seen Julie in over 2 years, I feel her pain as if it were my own all over again.
Her loss is my loss all over again.
I called my brothers phone in an attempt to have him buffer my emotions.
I couldnt help myself.
What can I say?
I cried, like an idiot.
I wanted to be strong and a comfort to my niece, I was none of those things. I was sucked right back to August 2006. Im sorry for that.
I finally got to talk to Julie about a week after the loss and I still couldn't really be anything good for her. My heart was in it but my emotions take over every time.
Julie answered the phone and I said, "Julie?"
she said "suzie?"
"Julie"?
"Suzie"?
we both laughed.
Then I said....
Im going to talk fast and tell you im sorry and im here for you if i could make it better i would and i have to stop now because im going to start crying and be a n=blubbering idiot i love you very much.
Then I cried while she told me it was ok and she loved me too and we will all be alright.
Our Dads were somewhere better, waiting to see us again.
They were seeing their fathers that they hardly knew and preparing a great place for all of us again.
I cried.
and cried.
As I do now.
She is just in the beginning. It doesn't get better, they don't get farther away, just harder to recall. I cant tell her that, she will have to find that out herself.
It is hard.
Now all the women in our family have lost their Daddy's.
We were all Daddy's girls and we share that loss.
What can I say? I cant say anything to make it better, I cant even share much that will ease her pain.
Anymore than I lover her, I feel your pain.
Danny is still in the desert, in the sand, and walking, talking breathing.
Thank you God.
Thank you God.
Thank YOU GOD.
What else can I say?
Keep him safe and bring him home.
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