Ohhh Now I remember why we got divorced....
I had a lovely day with the girls and Timmy yesterday taking Missi to college. Really I was reminded of the good things about my ex husband. He is a safe driver, I never worry about an accident. He remembers everything I do. The kids, vacations, people and old friends. That is cool since Andy hasnt been around for all that stuff. So I must admit I was feeling a bit more nostalgic last night than is comfortable.
It wasn't until tonight when Allie brought up one of the conversations we had in the car that I suddenly felt catapulted back to the days of being married to that man.
In the car he asked Allie in some way whether she asks Kendall everyday "a thousand times a day" whether or not he loves her?
I used to do this.
He "explained" to her how when someone asks for love and attention you feel pressured to give it to them so then .... YOU DONT WANT TO.
He told her that if you marry or are with someone that loves you more than you love them it can be quite difficult to show that person the attention they might need. It becomes more of a burden and something that is a chore.
He was telling our daughter why we were divorced pretty much.
I truly loved him more than anything.
I couldnt get enough of him.
Problem being, he didnt feel the same way. He was disinterested, felt pressured to show attention to me.
I felt a bit exposed and told her not to marry too young because you wont know what you want for real until later in your life.
What am I supposed to say. I was embarrassed and truly brought back to the nights when he would say "Stop touching me, please Suzie>"
"Thats enough Suzie, give me a break would you."
"Dont kiss me, please, im begging you."
Yeah I gave you a break alright.
Anyway. That part is over. I can let it go now and not feel as if Im back to the twenty something y.o. woman waiting for her husband to touch her.
Thinking there is something wrong with her, cant do things right, smells bad, tastes bad, is bad in bed, ....
I am over that shit now. SO I guess I should Thank him,? right?
No, I dont think so you fucker.
It wasn't until tonight when Allie brought up one of the conversations we had in the car that I suddenly felt catapulted back to the days of being married to that man.
In the car he asked Allie in some way whether she asks Kendall everyday "a thousand times a day" whether or not he loves her?
I used to do this.
He "explained" to her how when someone asks for love and attention you feel pressured to give it to them so then .... YOU DONT WANT TO.
He told her that if you marry or are with someone that loves you more than you love them it can be quite difficult to show that person the attention they might need. It becomes more of a burden and something that is a chore.
He was telling our daughter why we were divorced pretty much.
I truly loved him more than anything.
I couldnt get enough of him.
Problem being, he didnt feel the same way. He was disinterested, felt pressured to show attention to me.
I felt a bit exposed and told her not to marry too young because you wont know what you want for real until later in your life.
What am I supposed to say. I was embarrassed and truly brought back to the nights when he would say "Stop touching me, please Suzie>"
"Thats enough Suzie, give me a break would you."
"Dont kiss me, please, im begging you."
Yeah I gave you a break alright.
Anyway. That part is over. I can let it go now and not feel as if Im back to the twenty something y.o. woman waiting for her husband to touch her.
Thinking there is something wrong with her, cant do things right, smells bad, tastes bad, is bad in bed, ....
I am over that shit now. SO I guess I should Thank him,? right?
No, I dont think so you fucker.
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