A whole new word.

“If you wish to experience peace, provide peace for another.”

Tenzin Gyatso

God works in mysterious ways.
The day before Drew's party Jack had a fever and a wicked "something" brewing.
Andy called his step mom and explained we would most likely not make it to his Fahters 70 th birthday party. I had wished for an event or small illness to prevent our going to their home.
It happened. We had the perfect out. We were free to do whatever else we wanted with our Saturday. I didnt have to be with a man that I felt/feel has been a terrible Father to my husband. Andy has been sad, angry, lonely, and missed alot not having a present Father.
That said, for me, this party was... monumental.
The morning of the party we discussed Jacks condition and he was apparently WELL.
The opportunity for Andy to meet his SISTER FOR THE FIRST TIME was awaiting him two hours away.
(Andy has a much younger half sister he had never met until Saturday, she is a child from a marriage following the marriage of Andys parents)
We packed up and left the house with the discussion of meeting a sister in her thirties, renewing old family ties. Hopefully I would be letting go of some of my pent up anger/loss/blame issues upon my arrival, BUT DOUBTFUL.
We arrived and as soon as we go in the door, I felt PEACE.
I knew I had to be here.
I knew Jack needed to meet his Grandfather.
I wanted Andy to meet his sister Sarah and hopefully find someone new to be irreplaceable.
His Father had tears in his eyes when we came in. His step mom was thrilled to see us. His "new" sister was lovely, we have another brother inlaw, niece named Maddy and nephew due in October.
Most of all I was able to see a man that is not perfect, Loves in his own way, and is LOVED by others.
My anger and bitterness has been misdirected.
He is not responsible for my Fathers death. No one is RESPONSIBLE. It is.. what it is.
There are many people in this world that I could do without, but God is showing me that Andy's father is someone that NEEDS to be in our lives right now.
Good, bad, indifferent, he IS WHAT HE IS.
We had a nice time, Jack was an excellent boy.
We laughed with sister Molly, joked with the kids, and I watched and realized
AN old man is just that, an old man.
I am at Peace with his being who he is.
If he hurts my Andy I will have to tell him about it and defend my family.
But God forgive me for having such terrible thoughts. I am sorry.
A few pictures of the day.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Kiss

Ayla

No, not that.