Im letting go..
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A whole new word.
“If you wish to experience peace, provide peace for another.” Tenzin Gyatso God works in mysterious ways. The day before Drew's party Jack had a fever and a wicked "something" brewing. Andy called his step mom and explained we would most likely not make it to his Fahters 70 th birthday party. I had wished for an event or small illness to prevent our going to their home. It happened. We had the perfect out. We were free to do whatever else we wanted with our Saturday. I didnt have to be with a man that I felt/feel has been a terrible Father to my husband. Andy has been sad, angry, lonely, and missed alot not having a present Father. That said, for me, this party was... monumental. The morning of the party we discussed Jacks condition and he was apparently WELL. The opportunity for Andy to meet his SISTER FOR THE FIRST TIME was awaiting him two hours away. (Andy has a much younger half sister he had never met until Saturday, she is a child from a marriage following the...
Finding the Piece.
My Dad had a saying "Keep The Peace", that was what he said to anyone as they parted ways with a handshake. I have been playing with the words lately. I think I am trying to find something new-from the old. I want to feel SOMETHING, I miss him and that has been about all, just sad missing. So in the shower I play with "Kept The Pieces" A word soduko that brings me a chuckle and some peace. I have scrambled and and ommelletted ideas of how to keep him close to my everyday. All Ive got is to "Keep The Pieces" I need to keep the pieces of what we all had, and tend to what we have all become since the end of THEN. I have a description the "sad" that hits me this time of year. Allie and I just let out a little grunt of air to describe the blanket of awareness that hits every so often that--- "Really, really, he is gone, and for a lonnnng time now." I have been having waves of the "oh shits" for about a month now. "Oh shit ...