I heard .... my heart.

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It was a beautiful weather day here in NEPA. Andy was away the whole week befor and the adjustment is difficult.
I am alone as the parent and adjust by Tuesday. I handle the week without too many problems and almost enjoy it. By the night I am usually totally whipped and sleep like a baby. Jack wa a good boy this week so all is well. The adjustment comes when Andy comes back.
I am happy to see him but then readjustment occurs.
Yesterday morning i just needed time alone. I need to "debrief" so to speak.
I took the camera and went to my favorite place to just chill, the cemetery.
I walked around the lovely grounds and "visited" with some of my favorites.
I know some people grew up visiting cemeteries, so they arent anything new.
I did not. They were always a place to drive past and not think about too much.
The Forty Fort cemetery is historical as well as beautiful. Peaceful.
I did something I thought only crazies did.
I laid down over a grave.
Just laid there looking up at the blue sky, trees blowing, birds flying. cars driving by in the distance, grass under my hands and feet.
I waited.
I wanted to hear something. Some message of epic proportions,
EVERYTHING WILL BE OK
YOU ARE GOING TO BE FINE.
THE LOTTERY NUMBERS ARE.......
YOUR DAD IS HERE AND WANTS TO TELL YOU ITS OK AND HE IS NOT MAD AT YOU.
HE SAID GET OUT OF THE GRASS
Nothing happened. I just felt peaceful and quiet.
Then the reality of me laying on someones grave began creeping in, so I took a picture of myself lying there.
I am not posting it because I look really bad.
But I bet you have never done that.
I am posting a few of the pics I took. The row of graves are four children from one couple the childrena e all about 3 to 6 yo and died within 4 years of each other.
I think it is a beautiful thing they look like little beds for their babies to sleep in right next to each other for all eternity.. The carvings on the headstones have faded over the 150 years, but even more meaningful.
You can read the ring of roses around Mary.
Enjoy I will post more photos later today.
Love to all.

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